Baber quotes from Little Mosque on the Prairie

Baber

I got a deal from the old rink. From what I hear, nothing separates men and women like Hockey Night in Canada!

Baber

Western school system! Filling their head with... thinking!

Baber

It's "minbar", not "mini-bar".

Baber

As Allah is my witness, I have no imagination! None!

Baber

Layla must be protected from the influence of this... Pop tart!

Baber

You idiot. You.... ruined my death.

Baber

How will anyone know that you're finally embracing your modesty unless we show you off, uh?

Baber

It is my duty to do something stupid!

Baber

The enemy is in your kitchen.

Rayyan

And maybe while the enemy's in there he could do the dishes.

Baber

You look like a Protestant!

Layla

Don't you mean "prostitute"?

Baber

No. I mean "Protestant".

Fatima

I don't want a bunch of men leering at me while I pray.

Baber

And I don't want you women distracted by my bottom.

Sarah

Trust me Baber, no one is looking at your bottom.

Rayyan

[sitting on the barrier to keep Baber from setting it back up] You're not supposed to touch me.

Baber

Please, forgive me, sister Rayyan. I totally forgot myself.

Rayyan

Of course.

Baber

It'll never happen again

Rayyan

Good

Baber

Gimme that piece of wood so I can push her off!

Baber

If I don't get to talk, I'm out! I knew this was a bad idea.

Fatima

I'm with Baber! We're... What's the word?

Baber

Boycotting!

Fatima

I was gonna say "pissed off", but... Yes! We're boycotting!

Amaar

You did see the "Do not disturb" sign on the door?

Baber

Oh yes. I will make sure nobody disturbs you.

Fatima

It's only Halloween. It's not like they're out drinking and dirty dancing!

We're not?

Fatima

Watch your smart mouth or you go nowhere!

Baber

What if he leaves Islam to become a witch?

You can do that?