Amaar quotes from Little Mosque on the Prairie

Amaar

What was your favorite part [of the sermon]?

The end.

Baber

[Loudly] How Joyful! At this rate we'll convert every white people in town to Islam!

Amaar

Indoor voice, Baber.

Amaar

Any bit of advice on dampening religious enthusiasm?

Reverend Magee

Join the clergy.

Amaar, do you have a minute? I need your help.

Amaar

I'm not holding down another nail for you. My thumb is still throbbing.

There must be some rule in the Qur'an against praying too much.

Amaar

Let me get this straight: you're asking a spiritual leader to help someone stop praying?

Baber

Don't make us give you your notice.

Amaar

Baber, you're forgetting: we're the tenants, he's the landlord.

Amaar

So you're saying... They were actually... Holding hands?

Baber

I wasn't saying it. I was yelling it!

Amaar

A man is not allowed to touch a Muslim woman unless he is her brother, her father or her husband.

Not even if she needs mouth-to-mouth?

Amaar

You keep your mouth away from her.

She'd be unconscious.

Amaar

You'd kiss an unconscious woman?!

Amaar

I'm sorry I care so much.

Rayyan

That's not an apology.

Amaar

I'm sorry you lost your way.

Rayyan

You shoudn't be making bad excuses!

Amaar

I'm sorry, nothing I ever say seems to work!

Rayyan

Oh, well, that's obvious.

Amaar

I am sorry I'm here!

Rayyan

Oh, well, now we're getting somewhere. And I am sorry that you're here too.

Amaar

You can't pretend to be Christian.

Reverend Magee

Actually you can. Half my congregation does.

Baber

I want to be buried with other Muslims, on my side, facing Mecca, and I want it now!

Amaar

You sure you don't want to wait till you're dead? It's less claustrophobic.

Baber

Best outreach event ever, Amaar.

Amaar

We didn't get any visitors.

Baber

That's exactly my point!

Baber

You can't talk by yourself for an entire hour and expect people to listen!

Amaar

That's no different than what I do here at the Mosque.

Baber

Ah, you said it, not me!

that is why I will build you a new one for nothing.

Amaar

"Nothing" nothing or "Yasser" nothing?

It's a work-in-progress.

Amaar

But you said "Consider it done".

Which you're not doing.

Baber

Finally a real Imam with a beard!

Amaar

Everybody reads from the same Qur'an.

Baber

Yes, but his is not the pocket book edition.