Murderers do not play tennis!
Well, this one does.
S2 E4Suburban Swingers
It's called surveillance.
Doesn't sound very manly.
[Breaking into Twilling's car showroom]
It's freezing out here.
I don't like this. Gene Hunt smashes doors down, he does not pick girlie locks!
We can't just pull him in. He's too clever for that. At least this way we get hard evidence.
I'm gonna be the laughing stock of the Lancashire Constabulary Dinner and Dance, me.
Believe it or not, guv, one day soon, something like this will bring down Richard Nixon.
Hard to believe.
[Chris Skelton is playing around with his flashlight]
Chris. This is serious.
So where do you want this transmitter?
Up here
Chris, bend down.
What for?
Just do it
[Chris bends over to give Gene a step up]
Right, look...
[A police car with sirens on shoots past outside]
[alarmed] The law! The law!
Get down you divs!
[Everyone ducks down, before Sam reappears when the car has gone]
We are the law, you bloody clowns! God help us!
Darling, meet Roger and Carol.
[shaking hands] Hi, Tony Blair.
(Gene Hunt barges into Tyler's sting operation, with a woman in tow)
RTRoger Twilling
Tony, who is this man?
This is... This is my friend, Gordon. Gordon Brown. And his wife... Uh...
You know that guy in the Bible who tried to get a camel through the eye of a needle?
That would be ... Jesus.
Well, he had nothing on Mrs Luckhurst.
So how'd your date go?
Oh...I-I won't be seeing her again.
Don't tell me. Upstairs outside and you got a slap!
[about Gene's 'wife' at the wife-swapping party] Where'd she come from?
Suki? Let her off an arrest last week for lewd behaviour. She owed me.
She's a prostitute?
SSuki
I am here, you know!
Well, you didn't think I was gonna fetch me own wife here, did you?!
What's a vol-au-vent?
It's puff pastry shell filled with a savoury meat mixture.
So its a pie then.
It's called surveillance.
Doesn't sound very manly.
Manly?!
GTGene Tyler
Well, it's not proper police work, is it? Spying on people?
[...]
It's the future. One day, the vast majority of police work will be surveillance. Gathering information, feeding that information into computers...
Well I hope I'm dead by the time that happens!
S2 E5The Kidnapping
[The show opens with the introduction to Camberwick Green]
CGCamberwick Green Narrator
This is a box. A magical box, playing a magical tune. But inside this box, there lies a surprise. Do you know who's in it today? [A toy version of Sam appears] It's Sam Tyler! Hello, Sam.
[Toy Sam waves]
CGCamberwick Green Narrator
How are you today?
[Toy Sam puts his head in his hands]
CGCamberwick Green Narrator
Oh dear. Not very happy. Is it Gene Hunt?
[Toy Sam nods]
CGCamberwick Green Narrator
Is he kicking in a nonce?
[Toy Sam points - cut to a toy version of Gene Hunt, beating up another toy in a dark alley. Toy Gene and the nonce wave to the camera, then Gene hits the other toy repeatedly with a dustbin lid]
[To a person threatening to hang themselves]
C'mon, Mr. Lamb. I always say there's a time to take off the noose, and put on the kettle.
We were hoping you could be a voice of reason...
[Feverishly intense] I came out of a musical box.
... a stabilizing influence...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Life on Mars pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.