Life on Mars quotes

179 total quotes

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Andrea Kemble: He your boss? What would I get for smacking him one?
Sam Tyler: A round of applause from half our station.

Annie Cartwright: Are you okay?
Sam Tyler: [sigh] Yeah, I'm just tired.
Annie Cartwright: Me too. I've haven't slept for 24 hours. [She puts her hand on Sam's shoulder]
[Flashback to yesterday, Annie is sorting through paperwork, when she looks at an advert in the newspaper for a Roxy Music concert - 22nd May at 8pm. She looks up to Sam Tyler's jacket hanging.]
Annie Cartwright: Stupid.
[Cut to present day]
Sam Tyler: It's not stupid.
Annie Cartwright: Pardon me?
Sam Tyler: Forget it.

Annie Cartwright: Boss, he's got a pulse. He's alive! [Gene pours tea over the victim who moans in pain]
Gene Hunt: He is alive, isn't he?
Sam Tyler: You see, that's why you need women detectives!
Gene Hunt: You said he was dead!
Ray Carling: Well he weren't moving!
Gene Hunt: Chris doesn't move; it don't mean he's dead! Go on, Dr Kildare, get an ambulance!

Annie Cartwright: Boss, there's a viscous yellow liquid in his ear....
Gene Hunt: No, that's the drip from my fried egg butty, love. Well done Miss Marple, that's why we need women detectives...

Annie Cartwright: Darling, meet Roger and Carol.
Sam Tyler: [shaking hands] Hi, Tony Blair.

Annie Cartwright: Sam's still out cold, Doc says he may need to go to hospital for blood tests.
Gene Hunt: I know what blood group he is, A-Rhesus-Smug.

Annie Cartwright: We were hoping you could be a voice of reason...
Sam Tyler: [Feverishly intense] I came out of a musical box.
Annie Cartwright:... a stabilizing influence...

Chris Skelton: Bingo! I got one. Martin Ellis, lorry driver. Waiting for a fabrics pick-up at 2:30 this morning. Spotted a thickset man running of the loom hall.
Sam Tyler: Good, can I see it?
[Chris shows Sam a black and white picture with a head looking like a butternut squash with ears]
Sam Tyler: Chris, have you ever seen anybody that looks like that?
Chris Skelton: It's the best we could do.
Sam Tyler: It's a doddle, then. We're looking for someone with hamster's cheeks, a nose like Audrey Hepburn and a two-foot forehead.

Chris Skelton: Boss? Bloody hell, you look like something out of the Addams Family.
Sam Tyler: Up all night.
Chris Skelton: Oh aye. What was her name?
Sam Tyler: Migraine.
Chris Skelton: German bird?

Chris Skelton: I wonder what killed him?.
Gene Hunt: That would be the bloody enormous hole in his chest where the bullet went in!

Chris Skelton: I'd hate to end up in prison.
Sam Tyler: Not very likely, is it Chris?
Chris: What if I was wrongly accused of killing my wife like David Janssen in The Fugitive?
Sam: You mean Harrison Ford.
Chris: No I don't.

Chris Skelton: Someone needs to take a look at you boss, you're as white as a ginger bird's arse!

Chris Skelton: What's a vol-au-vent?
Ray Carling: It's puff pastry shell filled with a savoury meat mixture.
Chris Skelton: So its a pie then.

Chris Skelton: Woman in her twenties, dead.
Gene Hunt: Well I didn't think she was sunbathing, did I?!

Chris: Dickie's famous for getting caught in Alicante.
Ray: Flagrante, Chris, in flagrante