Life on Mars quotes

179 total quotes



All Seasons  Season 1  
Season 2
 



DS Ray Carling [To DC Chris Skelton] Take my advice, get a pint of Pernod'n'Black down her then do what you like.

Frank Morgan: You have amnesia, Sam.
Sam Tyler: I'm in a coma, Frank.

Gene Hunt: [to Sam] Y'know, If I was as worried as you, I'd never fart for fear of shitting myself

Gene Hunt: [to Sam] You always do this to me - I run in certain and walk out confused!

Gene Hunt: Chris, round up everyone you can get your hands on. Ray, wake up and get a van. Cartwright, stick some lipstick on. There's a blag on at Raxton Street Post Office in an hour. I want the lot of you in there and undercover! We're gonna catch these bastards with their fingers in the till!

Gene Hunt: Listen, you're not the one who's going to have to knit himself a new arse after 25 years of aggressive male affection in prison showers, I'm coming with you!.
[Sam startles Gene by waking screaming from a nightmare]

Gene Hunt: We need to nail this fast.
Sam Tyler: So, we preserve the scene. We dust for prints
Gene: [Interrupting] You've seen it out there, Sam. People are scared. Pull in someone from the "we don't like you" list. We put their prints on the hammer, charge 'em, whip it past the beak. There's loads of scum out there deserve another spell inside. It'll buy us more time.
Sam Tyler: Look Guv, you wanna wear the Sheriff's badge? Well it comes with responsibilities; thorough, and by-the-book!
Gene Hunt: Cobblers! The public don't care what we do, just that we get the job done!
Chris Skelton: Too right, you don't want a mirror at the dentist do you?

Gene Hunt: [gives Tyler a gun] Here, wave this around inside and try and look hard for once in your life!
Sam Tyler: Have you never heard of softly, softly?
Gene Hunt: Yes, but I prefer Z-Cars! [he and Sam storm into the building] Don't move! You're surrounded by armed bastards!

Gene Hunt: [sarcastic] Well this is nice! Shall I get us some Bakewell tarts?!
Sam Tyler: Tell me about Charley Witham.
Gene Hunt: I'll tell you about her. She's what every copper dreads. A dead child. And parents looking to you for answers.
[Flashback to a year ago. A video of Charley Witham and Gene Hunt and Charley Witham's parents watching]
Gene Hunt: [voiceover] Last year, I stood in their home, knowing I was their only hope of getting justice.
[Video carries on playing. Numerous clips of Charley laughing, playing, smiling, holding her pet cat, doing a handstand. Then the video stopped.]
Mrs Witham: We wanted you to see her, as we saw her. Chief Inspector. With everything ahead of her. Our perfect 10. Our Charley. [She starts to cry and leaves]
[Cut to present day]
Gene Hunt: [emotional] I erm, had the job of showing them... what their lovely perfect 10... had become.
[Flashback to morgue. Mr and Mrs Witham and Gene Hunt looking at Charley's body]
Gene Hunt: We think she knew her killer. Leaves were cleared away like they were making space. A rag was stuffed into her mouth. Probably didn't mean to kill her. Probably only wanted to keep her quiet. Smothered her face. Panicked and ran away.
Mrs Witham: So, she suffocated 20 feet from the road. From people walking their dogs, cars.
[Don Witham takes Charley's hand and kisses it]

Gene Hunt: [Seeing Annie Cartwright's organised all the files for the current case] Bloody hell, Cartwright! Do you wanna come over my house and sort out my garage?

Gene Hunt: Blardy, blardy, history bloody blah. It doesn't take a degree in applied bollocks to know what's going on!
Sam Tyler: Go on then, amaze me with your insubstantial guesswork!
Gene Hunt: He's come over here, started dealing, and Rocket or one of the other local drugs boys has took offence and offed him!
Sam Tyler: Wow. That was better than I expected. Copper jumps to conclusion and fits evidence to match. Birmingham Six, here we come!

Gene Hunt: He's got fingers in more pies than a leper on a cookery course.

Gene Hunt: If you think I'm gonna let you walk away from this investigation, than you're in for an even bigger disappointment than when we found out the plonk Doris Bangs was a name and not a promise!

Gene Hunt: Murderers do not play tennis!
Sam Tyler: Well, this one does.

Gene Hunt: Now. Yesterday's shooting. The dealers are all so scared we're more likely to get Helen Keller to talk. The Paki in a coma's about as lively as Liberace's dick when he's looking at a naked woman, and all in all this investigation's going at the speed of a spastic in a magnet factory.
[Sam Tyler, aghast, drops the radio he is holding.]
Gene Hunt: What?
Sam Tyler: Think you might have missed out the Jews
Gene Hunt: What?
Sam Tyler: I think we need to explore whether this attempted murder was a hate crime.
Gene Hunt: What as opposed to one of those I-really-really-like-you sort of murders?