Stan quotes from Lexx

Xev

After what we've just been through, I know exactly what I'm looking for in a man.

Stan

Oh yeah?

Xev

Yes. He needs to be tall..

Stan

[stretches] Yeah.

Xev

...handsome...

Stan

[confidently] Yeah...!

Xev

...and dead.

Stan

Kai, would you really have killed Jihana if I said so?

Kai

I asked you if you wanted me to be the enforcer of justice. If you had said yes, I would have killed the Grand Prosecutor - and then, I would have killed you, Stanley. But, in both cases, it would have been quick and painless.

Stan

Do you really mean that?

Kai

I have no motivation to lie.

Aren't you eating, mister?

Kai

No.

Stan

The dead don't eat.

Xev

[She's about to have sex with Stan] You ready?

Stan

[coy] No

Xev

Well I am, and that's what counts in this relationship.

Xev

Come on baby. Oh, gently. Who's your daddy? Oh, who's your daddy?!

Stan

You. Oh!

Stan

Oh Lexx, you are one remarkable bug!

Lexx

I love you too, Stan.

See, there ain't no law here, so we done taken a vote, see, the upshot of which is, it's gonna be now Captain Pa, not Captain Stan.

Stan

No. No no, no, we didn't take a vote!

Yeah, we took a vote. I'm the only one what gets to vote.

[eyeing Stan] Little ole me is getting kinda sleepy too. Is there a place somewhere where I could lay my head for a while?

Stan

Yeah.

Maybe you could tuck me in, you being so nice and gentlemanly and everything...?

Stan

And everything, yeah!

Stan

A signal? Why didn't you wake me?

It was a distress signal. They only lead to trouble, so I always ignore them.

Kai

Any atmosphere?

A very thin one. Xev would require a pressure suit. Stanley would not.

Stan

Why not?

Because a pressure suit would allow you to continue to breathing, which is a bad idea.

Xev

We've found somebody alive. There could be more.

Stan

Somebody, what kind of somebody?

Xev

A female somebody.

Stan

Female. Is she attractive?

Xev

Is that all that matters to you?

Stan

Yeah, pretty much.

Kai

Who's first?

Stan

Me!

Xev

No, me!

Stan

Me.

Kai

Oh, this is sweet! Well, we'll just have to take turns. How about I take a little bit of each - and then a little bit more [he aims his axe at Xev's breasts] - and then a little bit more [he aims at Stanley's crotch] - and more!

Xev

He ran out of protoblood...

Stan

Good timing, Kai!

Kai

Mouth to mouth resuscitation would seem a reasonable action.

Stan

Well, go ahead.

Kai

One must have breath to give it.

Do you have any idea what you are doing, or am I correct in observing that you are a ridiculous know-nothing attempting to gain a tiny modicum of understanding of how that device works?

Stan

I've taken lots of things apart before.

But were you able to put any of them back together?