Kai quotes from Lexx

Xev

Thanks for the lift.

Kai

I remember I used to like fishing.

Kai

Any atmosphere?

A very thin one. Xev would require a pressure suit. Stanley would not.

Stan

Why not?

Because a pressure suit would allow you to continue to breathing, which is a bad idea.

Kai

I am Kai, last of the Brunnen G

You could be the last of the cockroaches for all I care, I'm still gonna tear you apart!

Kai

Nobody moves.

Xev

Kai - it's me, Xev...!

Kai

Not for long.

Kai

Who's first?

Stan

Me!

Xev

No, me!

Stan

Me.

Kai

Oh, this is sweet! Well, we'll just have to take turns. How about I take a little bit of each - and then a little bit more [he aims his axe at Xev's breasts] - and then a little bit more [he aims at Stanley's crotch] - and more!

Xev

I think we're all lucky to be still alive.

Kai

Some of us.

Kai

Mouth to mouth resuscitation would seem a reasonable action.

Stan

Well, go ahead.

Kai

One must have breath to give it.

Kai

Mantrid... I do not experience pleasure, but my - friends are deriving satisfaction from the knowledge that their deaths will be simultaneous with yours.

Xev

You are a machine. We are human. And we have beaten you!

Mantrid

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Kai

In the end, you're just a calculator. You may rule the universe, but this universe is collapsing. You have moved too much mass too quickly to one point. This universe was born in a big bang, and now it is about to die in a big collapse.

Mantrid

You have played well.

Kai

You should have made better use of your human side.

Mantrid

I concede the game to you.

Kai

[nods] Good riddance.

Stan

Kai! You know about the Dark Zone, I mean where are the good planets?

Kai

Define good planet.

Stan

Well, for me - it would be one you'd feel confortable living on! Tingle me, jingle me! Get hunk and do it, y'know, kinda planet, you understand what I mean!

Kai

No.

Kai

We can drift until we are drawn into the solar system of a celestial object.

Stan

So how long is it gonna take us to reach one of those if we just... drift?

Somewhere between nine hundred standard years and sixteen thousand standard years.

Xev

So what do we eat in the meantime?

Xev

[as she is about to go into cryostatis] Kai! Is it okay if I dream about you?

Kai

You will not dream.

Xev

Well, if I did dream... I would like to dream about you.

Kai

If you like.

Xev

I do like. Goodnight Kai.

Kai

You do not love me, 790, you love Xev.

Who's Xev?

Kai

She is a beautiful love slave.

Who cares about a stupid love slave?! YOU are the man of my dreams...

Please, Kai! Think of me! Think of our future together!

Kai

When we pass between the two planets, I can drop down to one or the other. I have no way of knowing which one they are on. I'll have to make a random choice.

CHOOSE ME! CHOOSE THE ROBOT HEAD!

Kai

You play beautifully.

Music dulls the pain.