Hardison quotes from Leverage

You guys sure are quick. Just called this in twenty minutes ago.

Uh, we were coming back from a little border skirmish. Charlie unit came under attack by a pack of chupacabras.

Chupacabras? Thought those things were urban legends.

You're adorable.

Whoa, what's going on?

Cut power to the bank. Standard operating procedure.

Standard...it's standard op... it's standard? Where are you getting that bull-hockey from, son?

Deputy Arnold, he took a seminar in crisis management last year.

It was an online seminar. We got certificates.

Certificates? Magic kits come with certificates. Does that make it cool for kids to saw their parents in half?

We're just going by the book.

The…the book? The book got a good man killed. I can't…my blood pressure…

Parker

Ex-partner. Probably shouldn't mention the book again. Or propellers.

We're going to use the money that we have in here.

It is not enough. We're still short thirty grand.

No, Michael, no, not that money. We have an alternate revenue source.

Is he suggesting what I think he's suggesting?

Parker

Are you suggesting what we think you're suggesting? You want to give our bad guy's money to some other bad guys?

Yes, exactly what I'm suggesting we do. But we're going to do it without blowing our covers, gang.

Who are you talking to?

Parker, have you ever robbed a bank that's being robbed?

Parker

[smiling gleefully] There's a first time for everything. The bank was built before 1980, before computers. Means it's got a larger than normal night deposit chute.

'Cause business had to drop off ledgers with their daily hauls. What, you thought my genius was only limited to ones and zeroes?

We actually have bigger problems.

Eliot

What's that?

Well, Sheriff Coltrane over here called the FBI, the real FBI. Now the closest office is in San Diego, so they should be here in about, um, give it 45 minutes.

We can't worry about that now.

When do we worry about it?

In about 45 minutes.

They haven't arrived yet?

Eliot

Yeah. 'Cause meth-heads are so punctual.

[Handing Judge Roy one of the pizzas] I was told you were expecting this. Now, is there anything else that we can get you? Anything at all that would help this end peacefully?

Oh, no, wait, whoa, wait. I'm not ...

Sir, now we brought what you asked for. If you let the hostages go, you and me, we can talk this thing out.

You don't understand. You see, it's those four ...

Now, now, look here bro...[gets to his knees] I understand. This seems like a hopeless situation right now.

What are you doing?

But nobody else needs to get hurt.

You, you, you! You're one of them, aren't you?

This is my money! They got my money again!

What the hell are you talking about?

It was in my briefcase!

This briefcase? [opens briefcase and whistles] Crystal meth? My God, Roy, what have you gotten yourself into?

Oh...I don't...That's not mine!

This is all starting to make sense now. It would explain the irrational behavior, the nervousness, the...irritability.

Shut up. You're not even real FBI.

Paranoid delusions, violent outbursts.

Sophie

You're still a geek.

Geek power, baby. Stay strong!

So, uh, pizza boxes, huh?

Yeah, I know, I know, you could have done better.

No, no, no. No, I couldn't have.

Parker

This is what he expects me to do, fetch scripts and water?

No, it's a trust thing. He just needs to know that you’re gonna go along with the game plan.

Parker

Yeah, yeah. I get it. We're a team.

A little more than a team. I’m just saying.

Parker

I can't believe they sent you to babysit me.

I’m here on my own.

Parker

We have to bail.

No. no, no, no. What about Luka and the others? We can't leave them like that.

Parker

Why not?

You don't mean that.

Parker

You think this is the only crappy orphanage in this place? This is a country full of orphans, okay? We can't save them all.

No, but we can save this one. Parker, we can--we can save this one. Look, I know growing up was tough. I-I know that you--you grew up in the system. It was--it was bad. I know. It was, it was worse than bad, but that doesn't mean that all foster parents are monsters. Mine wasn't.

Parker

You grew up with your grandmother.

We called her "Nana," but she was our foster mom. She, uh...she--she would cuss like a sailor. The old girl would tan your ass just as soon as look at you. But--but she fed us, she bathed us, she put a roof over our head. And, oh, she would raise hell if you so much as looked at us crooked.

Parker

Yeah?

Yeah.

Parker

Well, you were lucky. No. We’ll put these kids in the system, and odds are, they're gonna--they're gonna... (trying not to cry) they're gonna turn out like me.

I like how you turned out.

Chechen separatists. Seriously bad dudes. (Eliot chuckles) After reading their bios, I don't think I’m ever gonna sleep again.

Eliot

Never tell a Chechen his sister has a nice smile. Trust me.

Parker

Hey, how did you know I’d be at the orphanage?

Thank Hardison for that.

You know you could have gotten killed. Did you even have an exit strategy?

Parker

[Apologetically] I didn't really think that far ahead.

You don't work alone anymore, you know that?

Parker

I know.

We're a team.

Parker

We're a little more than a team.