Eliot quotes from Leverage

Eliot

Hey. What smells like crank and screams like a girl?

Eliot

That's the right answer.

Eliot

[tending to Nate’s wound] Oh! Settle down. You act like you've never been shot before.

Eliot

When I knock people out, they tend to stay knocked out.

Eliot

You know, you could get another chamber, then put a brain with a tumor in that one and send the signal to the monitor for this chamber. Cross the wires.

Eliot

What? I dated a neurologist.

Eliot

That's the difference between a real soldier and this little Halloween outfit you got going on. You'd kill to protect your rights. A real soldier, he'd die to protect somebody else's.

Eliot

I am going to sharpen this knife and then walk around the halls in the dark... Don't leave.

Eliot

[to Nate] You're very good at what you do, but you can't con a mountain.

Eliot

What do you want to know? Names? Dates? Locations? What food was on their breath? Their eyes? You want to know what color their eyes were? Want to know the last words they spoke? Want to know which ones deserved it? Or better yet, the ones that didn't? Want to know which ones begged? Want to know why I know these things? Because I can’t forget. So there’s nothing you can do, no punishment you can hand out that I don't live with every day. So to answer your question, no, I never counted. I don’t need to.

Eliot

He copped to stealing office supplies. Three cases of sticky notes.

Eliot

Nobody throws Hardison off a roof... except maybe me... no. [considers]

Eliot

Come on. Fisticuffs? Really?

Eliot

Bad choices are bad choices. It doesn't matter why you made them. And they tear you apart, from the inside out. And you don't even notice.

Eliot

[Walking in] Who got the military satellite intercept? You're not supposed to... [Sophie gives him a look] It's a very distinctive static.

Eliot

Yeah, I know those guys. They used to stamp their logo on the side of our attack choppers and we had to sand it off before we-- [Suddenly notices that Nate and Sophie are staring at him] --went fishing. For fish. Yeah.

Eliot

[as Riker] Put your hands on me, I'll break your friggin' clavicle.