Parker quotes from Leverage

Parker

My money's not in my account. That makes me cry inside, in my special angry place.

Parker

[as a flight attendant, speaking before takeoff] In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let's face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely, the impact will kill you.

Parker

Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits. Because if this plane's on fire, you're gonna wanna get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over a thousand degrees! That's hot, folks.

Parker

Look, flying isn't really all that scary when you think about it. I mean, there are a lot more likely ways to die than on a plane: car crash, house fire, electrocution, drowning, auto-erotic asphyxiation. I mean, fact is, death haunts us every day, no matter where we are.

Parker

Erlick? The guy we just took out?

Parker

The guy Eliot just took out?

Parker

[Excitedly] WE JUST STOLE AN EIGHT MILLION DOLLAR STATUE! On, like, our day off!

Parker

Did you just give a guy a nosebleed with the power of your mind?

Parker

I like it when we switch jobs. It's exciting.

Parker

Why don't we just send her to the police? I mean, I don't use them, but this is what they're for, right?

Parker

Maggie's the most honest person we know, but besides that, she's okay.

Parker

Don't worry. First bomb's always the hardest.

Parker

For a den of evil spies, this place smells delicious. Hardison, confiscate some pastries.

Parker

Laser trip wires. In a ventilation shaft?!

Parker

We have to convince them that they need us. It's not gonna be easy, and they might shoot you a little.

Parker

[after she tasers the mark] I am really starting to enjoy tasing people. Is that a problem?

Parker

You're Santa! Respect the suit!