Hardison quotes from Leverage

Okay, so, Hardison, you get on that lecture thing. Eliot, you get on the mommies.

And he doesn't mean that literally.

Eliot

That joke is never funny.

It's always funny.

Eliot

No, it's not, Hardison. Comedy's about timing and you don't have it!

What the problem with getting emotionally butt naked? I'm just trying to share my feelings.

We don't want to see that.

I was talking to Parker, and, I mean, we're a little down about Christmas. We think...we're...kind of ruining the holiday or something.

Hardison, Christmas was pre-ruined. You know how it began?

Sophie

[gasping] No.

Yeah, it was a fat guy in a chimney.

Christmas began as a pagan, pre-Roman feast involving the sacrifice of children. Ho-ho-ho. [walks away]

Is he serious?

I mean, dang, I feel like I just got sucker-punched by an elf-hating, Scrooge-loving, no-gift-giving anti-Claus. I mean, am I bleeding?

Sophie

Little bit.

Eliot

Promise me those things will never hit toy shelves.

Parker

Nah, I'm keeping him all to myself. I've got them all lined up in my warehouse like an army of joy and rage.

You never want to be in that warehouse alone. Ever.

Sophie

I think we should give each other some trust for Christmas.

Parker

What? Like that willow exercise where you fall back and the other person catches you?

Sophie

No, not like that.

Parker

Good, because I did that once, and I dropped the person, and they had to get stitches.

Still hurts.

Parker

I know.

Did Eliot make it out?

Eliot

[choking on blood] Age of the geek, brother.

There it is man. They Holy grail.

Parker

A thousand bad guys.

Eliot

A lot of revenge in there, just waiting on a righteous man to take a swing.

Yeah. That man's not gonna be me. We're out. Done.

Sophie

We?

Well... That depends on - On what you say next, of course. (Nate dims the lights)

Sophie

What? Huh?

For five years I've been, I've been...

Drunk.

Parker

Lying.

You've been an ornery bastard.

Yeah, yeah. All that, all that. But you, you have always, always had my back. Now - be on my side?

Sophie

[about the ring] Did you steal it?

No!

Sophie

Because that would be more romantic, right, Parker?

I'll, uh. I'll steal the, um, First anniversary ring. Now can I get up?

Parker

No. You've got to say it.

What?

Parker

Say the thing.

What thing? Oh, The thing. Oh, uh, yeah. Will you marry me, Laura?

Sophie

Yes. Yes.

So, the hard drive. Everything thing you need is right there.

You know what. I'm going to dump this on the dark net.

Parker

Every crew from around the world will want in with us.

Just think about it. Leverage International.

That sounds pretty good.

You know this was your crusade. Now this is our war.

Sophie

Promise me, you'll keep them safe.

Eliot

Till my dying day.

You know, Eliot, I'd say, call if you need anything, but you never, never need anything.

Eliot

Yeah, I did. Thanks to you, I don't have to search anymore.

[to Hardison] You're the smartest man I know. Don't get cocky.

It's a little late for that.

Parker

So, you're really going?

Sophie

How does that make you feel?

Parker

I think I'm okay with it. Yeah, I'm okay with it.

That's why we can go.