Connie Rubirosa quotes from Law & Order

[to McCoy] I just got off the phone with the U.S. Attorney's office. They're seeking contempt charges against you. Talking about jail time.

Connie

I'm gonna go bake you a cake. Put a hacksaw in it.

McCoy

Make it chocolate.

Connie

So you were just the dumb muscle?

You can kiss my dumb muscle.

Connie

Timmy came off as an opportunistic, criminal piece of crap.

Cutter

He is an opportunistic, criminal piece of crap.

McCoy

Jurors are people. Lawyers are people. They have reactions. We could put you in a burqa.

Connie

Jack...

McCoy

Or have robots try cases. Until then, we use what we have.

Connie

[about Waxman representing herself] She's emotional and erratic, with no background in the law. By all rights, it's a slam dunk.

Cutter

People v. Fisher. Mr. Fisher crushed his fiancé's head with a hammer. Five people saw him do it, he was covered in blood and brain matter... he was acquitted. It wasn't my first case, or my tenth. It happened four years ago. No such thing as a slam dunk.

Connie

Would you sleep with a suspect to get a conviction?

Cutter

[smiles] I might go on a date.

Cutter

You know he killed Dresner.

Connie

As Jack always says, I only know what I can prove in court.

Cutter

He'll plead on Cardenas and implicate Big Chuck, but no deal on Rick Devon. What did you get?

Connie

Big Chuck says he rolls at the clubs and he rolls at the Bowl-More, but he don't roll on his homeboys.

Cutter

So I win.

Connie

You know, just because you tell them it's a contest doesn't mean it is one.

Cutter

How come you're such a sore loser?

Connie

They get away with murder, and inherit $2 million.

Cutter

The American dream.

Connie

[about McIntyre] Look at him. He'd rather be in jail as a Kennedy than out in the world as a toilet salesman.

Cutter

In either place, he's a murderer.

[about the protesters] These people put Trekkies to shame. [hands Connie a notice] Motion to suppress my client's backpack and the bricks from his tool shed.

Connie

Wow, you have high hopes.

Well, you know what they say about being known by the company you keep.

Connie

You're the one with the baby killer as a client. Live long and prosper, Mr. Wilson.

[during a press conference] It's outrageous. Our elected officials should be bringing every pressure to make the Iranians respect our laws. Now, if I'm elected district attorney, I won't take no for an answer in a case like this.

Connie

[aside, to Bernard] If he's elected district attorney, I'm resigning, and burning down my office on the way out.

Cutter

Jack says the deal's off the table.

Connie

Well, that's good, seeing as that's what you already told David's lawyer.

Connie

What do you think? Catholic Children's Charitable Trust might have popped Decker and Prescott?

Cutter

American Poetry Foundation. That's a cutthroat bunch.

Screw Cooper and the fire truck he married! All I wanted was for my son to come home in one piece! [tears up] Excuse me. [leaves]

Connie

"Fire truck"?

My guess, all the firemen rode her.