D.A. Adam Schiff quotes from Law & Order

They voted 11 to 1 to convict.

McCoy

One juror.

Schiff

So what else is new? Next case.

We're obligated to turn this over to the defense.

Schiff

And give this 3-time rapist a chance to bluff the jury?

That can't be a consideration.

Schiff

It sure as Hell can!

Schiff

Isn't your theory getting to be like theirs? They say he's an outraged boyfriend, you say he's an outraged would-be boyfriend.

McCoy

There's a world of difference between a jealous lover and some horny bastard who's mad he can't get to first base.

Schiff

Eloquent. Can't wait for your closing argument.

Schiff

This kid falls in love with a girl he has no chance in the world to get.

McCoy

And in a stupid, hopeless attempt to impress her, he shows her a million dollars worth of cocaine.

Schiff

Yeah, I guess etchings don't work anymore.

And as a result he ends up having to kill her.

Schiff

A story for Sophocles.

McCoy

Or Larry, Moe and Curley.

Schiff

Yeah. I always loved those guys.

McCoy

His first trial, and he knows just enough law to turn it into a circus.

Schiff

A circus? 3 counts of murder? He's taking it seriously.

McCoy

Then why doesn't he plead insanity?

Schiff

Because he's insane!

Schiff

Ruthie Miller? Who's paying her bills?

The British Consulate.

Schiff

Go to tea. Offer her a crumpet.

Schiff

Nice.

McCoy

Adam. [to his cellmates] Mr. Barton, Mr. Jasperson, Mr. Montoya-- Mr. Schiff.

Schiff

We're in a good mood, aren't we?

McCoy

All except Mr. Jasperson. He was just convicted of murder.

Yeah, and it was bull. I'm gonna be gettin' outta here soon.

Schiff

Young man, sit down.

Schiff

[referring to the victim and his wife] He was 74; she was 22?

McCoy

Why, Adam? You want to know if she has a sister?

Ross

Lanie Stieglitz filed her appeal.

Schiff

She's hoping they'll erect a statue for her on 12th Avenue.

McCoy

Even prostitutes deserve a patron saint.

Ross

It makes me wonder if they convicted her because we made our case or because she's a prostitute.

McCoy

They convicted her. I don't care why.

Schiff

You got what you wanted. Take the rest of the week off.

McCoy

It's Friday, Adam.

Schiff

So it is. See you Monday.

Ross

It doesn't look like we're going to get a confession.

Schiff

Why should he confess? You'll probably be arresting someone else tomorrow.

Schiff

Nice going, you made her cry. That ought to win you points in the jury room.

McCoy

Sure, she had a rough childhood and I feel sorry for her. And if she hadn't left her mother to bleed to death on the floor, I'd give her a great big hug.

McCoy

Who's the judge?

Schiff

Sawyer.

McCoy

The one who returned those 2 kids back to their crackhead mother?

Schiff

Who later beat them to death. Yes, it's the same Sawyer.

Schiff

Clarence Darrow had Leopold and Loeb. Who do we have?

McCoy

Beavis and Butthead.

Ross

A baby's dead and no one's responsible.

Schiff

No one was responsible when it was alive, either.