D.A. Adam Schiff quotes from Law & Order

My father wanted me to be a doctor. I went so far as to study organic chemistry.

Schiff

What happened?

I grew up.

Schiff

You look like the messenger who’s afraid he’s going to be killed.

I'm afraid the message might kill the recipient.

Schiff

[to the bailiff] George, take him out by the back stairs.

Thank you, Adam. I could use a friend.

Schiff

You always did, Dwight. That was the problem.

Okay, so it's not a walk in the park.

Schiff

Yes, it is. You're going to get mugged.

If we let him walk, we’re endorsing an armed populace that metes out justice as they see fit.

Schiff

If we try him and lose, it’s the same message. With our credibility as an appetizer.

Schiff

Yes? [Listens] Uh-huh? [Continues] Not an accident? [Continues] Thank you. [Hangs up] The gun dealer was in the yard at Rikers; had his throat cut. The victim's mother was thrown out a third-storey window.

Robinette

What about the little girl?

Schiff

She was picked up after school by her uncle.

She doesn't have an uncle.

She uses an out-of-date prison library, and her work is better than I've ever seen from a Wall Street law firm.

Schiff

"The truth is ugly, so we put our prophets in prison".

Oscar Wilde?

Schiff

Charles Manson.

[after a phone call] Tunney has been out on the streets since 4:00 this afternoon.

Schiff

What?!

Where's our notice?

Some clerk's dog ate it!

This whole story plays both ways. The father had accidents. The son was abused, or it was the other way around. But the father's not here to defend himself, so the jury could give this kid a college going-away party.

Schiff

Kills his father, the mother defends him. Doesn't the sister have a stake in all this?

We scheduled her for a statement. She didn't come in. Should I try again?

Why? She didn't say anything before, why would she start now?

Schiff

Before, her father was just bruised. Now, he's buried.

Schiff

Next, I'd like to see you yank out the tablecloth and leave the glasses standing. No way you should have won this case.

I just sold them a bit of my own snake oil.

Schiff

You can't force the other side to play. You put a check in the win column and you count your blessings.

In any other circumstances, that's exactly what I'd do.

Schiff

Why does this kid deserve such special attention?

Because he's pleading for the wrong reason. His lawyer tells him that he's born bad. We tell him he's raised bad. He buys both stories. Sees his life as a dead end.

Schiff

Maybe he knows his life better than you do. Your job is to convict, not to rehabilitate.

He's a 14-year-old kid who gave up.

Schiff

So you're doing him a favor.

If he gave up his illusions, right, but he gave up hope and I drove him to that. Now anything might happen to that kid in prison.

Schiff

Gary Gilmore. Westley Dodd. Two unrepentant killers. Everybody wants them dead until they agree, and then we turn them into folk heroes.

We had nothing to do with their fates.

Schiff

You want them to start naming churches after you, I'd get another profession. Take the kid's plea. Move on to the next case.

Schiff

Quick, lock the door; someone might walk in with a case we could win.

Come on, Adam, the jury didn't buy it. Cross-racial identification, it's bogus.

Schiff

I wouldn't count your chickens; your omelette just hit the fan.

Schiff

Young people get impatient with old people. Especially cantankerous ones.

Oh yeah? Speaking from personal experience?

Schiff

I'm a sweetheart. And I'm middle-aged.

Schiff

That girl's lawyer ought to send you a thank you note.

She'll do two years, Adam.

Schiff

Uh-huh, and when she gets out, she'll be what, 24?

25.

Schiff

I'd do two years in Attica happily if I walked out 25.

Schiff

If Manning swears the theory is useless, you've gotta prove that it isn't. Now, what the hell's the theory?

That protons eventually fall apart.

Schiff

Is this something I need to be worried about?

It means that all matter in the universe will eventually disintegrate in a certain way.

Schiff

Terrific. Now all we gotta do to win a larceny trial is prove how the universe ends.