Lennie Briscoe quotes from Law & Order

Briscoe

That's the trouble with lying, Kiki: you have to tell the same lies to the same people.

Briscoe

How long are you gonna stick with that story, Gavin? 'Cause I'm just trying to plan my day here.

Briscoe

If you can't trust a guy named Buddha, who can you trust?

Briscoe

[holds up Gasana's machete, which he used to kill someone] It's a jungle out there, huh?

Briscoe

Guy goes out for a stroll, ends up at his own wake.

Briscoe

He told us he was out running, he just didn't mention it was from the crime scene.

Briscoe

[while handcuffing a murder suspect] Just once, I'd like to make one of you bastards break the news to the parents!

Briscoe

Home alone's a movie, not an alibi.

Briscoe

[while interrogating Jensen] We'd offer call a lawyer for you, except that you are one.

Briscoe

[after McCoy arrives at the scene of Melnick's shooting] Better be careful, Jack. Looks like it's open season on lawyers.

Briscoe

My ex-wife talked me into seeing a counselor, and the counselor talked me into getting a divorce.

Briscoe

Full-contact modeling. Now there's a Pay-Per-View special I'd ante up for.

Briscoe

There's no such thing as hooker-client confidentiality.

Briscoe

We've been trying to figure out what to arrest you for. Harboring a fugitive, obstruction of justice, or just being a general pain in the ass.

Briscoe

[regarding the Latin crest on the victim's blazer] Loosely translated, it means, "Tuition starts at 20 grand."