DS Ronnie Brooks quotes from Law & Order: UK

DS Matt Devlin

Mmm, something smells like feet.

DS Ronnie Brooks

I'm broadening your culinary horizons. Welcome to the world of Korean cuisine. Look at that! [Lifts some up]

DS Matt Devlin

It's a claw...

DS Ronnie Brooks

That's an exotic delicacy!

DI Natalie Chandler

Ron? You think she knew her attacker?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Her head was bashed in against her own car door, guv. I'd say that was personal.

You don't want to mess these people about!!!

DS Ronnie Brooks

And you don't want to mess US about! A high court judge has been shot for this car!

DS Matt Devlin

The shop downstairs is another story, though. Owned by one Sanjit Chatterjee, currently under investigation for unpaid VAT, and selling alcohol without a license. He's already got one failed business under his belt. Declared bankruptcy at the tender age of twenty-five.

DI Natalie Chandler

So not exactly young entrepreneur of the year.

DS Ronnie Brooks

And he's got a stupid beard.

DI Natalie Chandler

That's enough for me.

DS Matt Devlin

Impart some fatherly wisdom, did you, Ron?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Well, it wouldn’t be the first young tear away I’ve had to sort out, would it? Ay, Mattie?

The bag should still be out there, the napkins should still be on the top.

DS Matt Devlin

[Ronnie is eating chips and just looks at Matt] You enjoying those?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Best breakfast I've had all day. Want one?

DS Matt Devlin

No, you're alright. [sighs, pulls gloves out, goes outside to the bin bags]

DS Matt Devlin

This Saturday, there are scheduled to be 54 weddings.

DI Natalie Chandler

And now a funeral. [to Brooks] Dust off your morning suit, Ronnie.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Not likely. The last wife cut the arms off it.

DS Ronnie Brooks

I spent my early teens in that ring

DS Matt Devlin

They had pie eating contests did they?

DS Matt Devlin

You were a featherweight?

DS Ronnie Brooks

I still am a featherweight! Just that my clothes got small.

DI Natalie Chandler

[Carries a cup through after Ronnie had been held at gunpoint] Tea, four sugars.

DS Ronnie Brooks

[as Matt shakily takes the cup] Get that down you.

DS Ronnie Brooks

[leaves the room]You don't get rid of me that easy, sunshine.

DS Matt Devlin

He's ordering a chinese.

DS Ronnie Brooks

I wish I had chinese, that is horrible.

DS Matt Devlin

[puts Ronnie's dinner in an evidence bag]

DS Ronnie Brooks

What are you doing? That's my dinner

DS Matt Devlin

Enough is enough!

DS Ronnie Brooks

What do you mean enough is enough? That's my dinner! Have you nicked them crime scene bags from work?

DS Matt Devlin

These bags are the only thing strong enough to deal with what you eat!

DS Ronnie Brooks

Matty, you're unbelievable, son!

DS Ronnie Brooks

That street dance is it?

DS Matt Devlin

Brucie here is more familiar with ballroom

DS Ronnie Brooks

So basically, Dr. Grant is going for the Shaggy defense.

CPS Prosecutor Alesha Phillips

"It wasn't me"?

DS Ronnie Brooks

Exactly. [off Matt's look] What? Young person's music, Matty. My girls keep me with it!

DS Matt Devlin

You were doing really well. Until you said with it.

CPS Prosecutor Alesha Phillips

So this man has been passing himself off as a doctor at a major London teaching hospital for nearly two years.

DS Matt Devlin

Reassuring, isn't it? Put on a white coat, stethoscope, people believe anything you say.

DS Ronnie Brooks

[to Jake, good-naturedly] Bit like a wig and a gown

CPS Prosecutor Jake Thorne

Too right. I've been getting away with it for years.

DS Matt Devlin

Snatching a kid from a ride in front of his own mum. This bastard's got balls.

DS Ronnie Brooks

Yeah, and I know what I'd like to do with them