Fin quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Benson

Ugh. McGrath wants all the DD5s for the week logged in by tonight.

Fin

Tell him he should get a life.

[about ultimate fighting] Fin, it's not just about a fight. It's the human spectacle.

Fin

I work in sex crimes every day. I get enough "human spectacle".

Benson

You gonna get that?

Oh, it's just my wife.

Benson

Actually, it's a cell phone number that Jorge called a dozen times last week. The last one was at 9:00 am this morning.

Fin

That's your life sentence calling, dude.

Benson

You have anything to say?

Screw you. Also, lawyer.

[about Dustin] This guy's rap sheet looks like the ABCs of crime. Assault, battery, citations...

Benson

We can add D for drug possession.

And initially he waived Miranda? Is he that dense?

Fin

He said the only Miranda he needs is one that'll get on her knees.

Benson

So to answer your question, Carisi, that's a yes.

I know you didn't like it when we arrested that other guy. You wanted the credit, right? Now's your time to shine. Tell people who you really are. Otherwise, you're just gonna be another little, gray man in a prison jumpsuit.

I took what I wanted because I could. It was there, it was easy. I moved up and down those highways and I left not a ripple in my wake.

Yeah, can you tell me more about that?

Okay, okay. Ya'll said this is being videotaped, right?

Fin

It is.

Good. Maybe someday, maybe Dateline or Netflix wants to do a special on me.

Fin

Fathers worry. She's been gone over a week. That's a long time.

Beth felt called to go. Her mother said yes. I was Zooming 10 hours a day. I didn't have time to pay attention. Oh God, what have I done?

Everything all right, Sarge?

Fin

Well, this whole planet's floating in the middle of an explosion, so is anything ever all right?

Let me ask you something. You started out in Narcotics, right?

Fin

Yeah.

Why'd you make the move here?

Fin

I got tired of arresting people who weren't hurting anybody. Over here, the bad guys are the bad guys.

The Duchess County DA wants an update on the case. I mean, certainly, Elias is guilty of a lot. Attempted murder, abduction, confinement... but patricide?

Fin

What are we, in ancient Greece?

I just work here. I'm not actually into this stuff.

Fin

I get it. My fetish is green and colored, too.

Benson

Noah and Connor have been texting non-stop. They're dying to meet each other.

Fin

So what are you going to do?

Benson

What any self-respecting parent would do in this situation: ask you to run a complete background check on the entire family.

I screwed up this case. How pissed is Carisi?

On a scale of 1 to 10...

Fin

...I'd say Vladimir Putin.

Fin

It looks like the Tremont clique knows where you live.

Benson

I mean, these people are pretty ballsy. Going after a New York captain on her turf?

Fin

I heard on the radio you blew out one of their kneecaps.

Benson

I didn't want to shoot any of them. They were kids.

Fin

You have a lot more restraint than I would.

Benson

He's somebody's son.

Fin

Some bullets have a lesson behind them.

I told you. I am done. That deaf girl case was my last case.

Fin

You have a monogrammed hammock in Mexico I don't know about it?

Well, my gobs are smacked and my ghasts are flabbered.

Fin

Are you having a stroke or something?

You weren't in the room. The air had a certain funk.

A funk???

Yeah, it malingered.

Fin

Now that you mention it, the air did have a certain mildew-y smell.

Like when someone's lying to you.

Benson

Guys, he's a used car salesman. If he's breathing, he's lying.