John Munch quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Munch

[reads the title of one of the victim's articles] "How to build a better orgasm" in "Cosmopolitan." Somebody might kill for this.

Munch

We've only been partners a few months but the man is starting to think like me. Only slower.

Munch

They still didn't have to shove a banana where the sun don't shine. That's just rude.

Munch

I want you to seal this crime scene tighter than an accountant's ass.

Munch

"Hello and welcome to Parole Fone. If you want to pay with sex, press one. To make a donation to a phony charity, press 2."

Munch

One minute you're getting your doorknob polished, the next you're sweet talking St. Peter.

Munch

[to a transit cop] I'd like you to go sit on the third rail.

Munch

[to P.K.] Go buy yourself a blunt.

Munch

[to a serial rapist and murderer known as the Bowery Stalker] Shoplifting. Kind of an undignified end to such an ambitious operation.

Munch

[to the Bowery stalker] You had us stumped for over a year, Daryl. Your operations manual reads like a textbook in tactics and resource management. I've offered it to the curriculum committee at the Academy. I think the next generation of cops could learn a lot from you.

Munch

[while looking at a board filled with thumbtacks representing chemical plants] Garden State, my ass. I guess chemical capital of the world didn't have the same zing.

Munch

[to Kyle] You have the right to an attorney. You want my advice? Don't take one that's on your mother's payroll.

Munch

[waits for the voyeur suspect to answer the door] If there's any poetic justice, we caught him in the bathroom.

Munch

[to Reggie] Just relax, take a deep breath, and pretend you're just embezzling thousands of dollars like it's any other day.

Munch

Visit with mom, evening of rape, what would Freud say?