Elliot Stabler quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Stabler

Remember that Tom Hanks movie where he managed the girls' team? [hands Benson a piece of gum] "There's no crying in baseball."

Stabler

This woman makes J.D. Salinger look like a Shriner.

Stabler

Drama's a major food group for teenage girls.

Stabler

(to the burglary detective) Don't touch me. I don't like to be touched.

Stabler

[to Keith] Look. Someone comes to me and says they want to store illegal stuff in my garage, he's either my best friend or I'm getting something out of the deal.

Stabler

[last line] Welcome to the Gaza Strip.

Stabler

I had my own "Alan Cryder". Insurance salesman ran his business out of a converted garage in Queens. Well liked, would invite the neighbourhood kids up for ice cream and stories. One day, a 6-year-old girl goes missing from a playground in Soho. Long story short, we find her underneath the floor boards of his office along with 3 other children, all in various stages of decomposition. But he's gone and I'm left with a cold case. 2 years, nothing but silence and headaches. I wasn't sleeping a lot, I kept having these recurring nightmares where my own children would be underneath the floor boards that I couldn't pry up. And, one day, I'm just gassing up my car in Chelsea and there he is. And before I know it, I've got his face sandwiched between his windshield and the muzzle of my gun. And I'm yelling "freeze" and I realize that I'm yelling at myself. Because I can't stop my finger from pulling the trigger and I am praying for him to blink, I'm praying for him to twitch, just do something to give me an excuse. And then I see a face inside of his car. It's a girl, this beautiful little 6-year old girl with these big eyes. I figured she'd seen enough.

Stabler

Oh God bless the lawyers.

Stabler

Female rage is a growth industry.

Stabler

[to Poletti] That year you're doin' on your head? Add 25 more and choke on it.

Stabler

If she dies because you're holding out on us, I will personally stick that needle in your arm myself, you little prick.

Stabler

Lady, I've got 4 kids. If I ever talked to one of them like that, I'd arrest myself.

Stabler

I love my children. And if one of them was sick, I would do anything in the world to make them better. But I would also pray to God that if all hope were gone, He'd give me the strength just to end their suffering.

Stabler

[choked up] I could've killed my kid over a lousy carpet!

Stabler

I love these little cliques. They're like the Mafia. Nobody knows nothing.