Cassidy quotes from Law &amp; Order: Special Victims Unit

A military plane drops JFK's coffin into 9,000 feet of water 3 years after the assassination. You don't find that suggestive, perhaps even a tad disquieting?

Cassidy

No.

No? The Justice Department waits 33 years before they impart this tidbit on the American people, and then they say they did it because it wasn't evidence? What are you, sheep? Will you believe anything?

Cassidy

[sheep-like] Naaaah.

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[Jeffries enters the break room, where Cassidy, Cragen, and Munch are eating lunch.]

You guys going to eat all this?

Suppose we say yes.

Suppose I'm just being polite.

That will be a first.

Cassidy

It's cool. John doesn't eat vegetables.

Yeah? The way I heard, that's not all John never gets to...eat.

[Jeffries leaves with a container of Chinese food. Cassidy sucks on his fork.]

Cassidy

Ouch.

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I'm never setting foot in the city of Baltimore again, as long as I'm on this mortal sphere.

Cassidy

Why? You're rich. Did your 20, got your pension, and you're on the job here.

I earned that pension with the sweat of my mind, while surrounded by intellectual insects. Not to mention the fact that I lost a wife after less than one night of connubial bliss to someone who was not only another detective, but a member of my own squad.

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[The squad is looking at pictures of the victim.]

Stabler

8 stories up, 8 down.

Cassidy

Looks like she was shot out of a cannon.

CCaptain Cragen

Guy on steroids?

No, the Yankees are on a road trip.

Stabler

Yeah, they're down in Baltimore, kicking a little Oriole ass.

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The whole thing's a pyramid scheme.

Cassidy

What whole thing?

Laptops. We've become a nation of laptoppers, writing orders on our laptops, more laptops- whatever happened to pens?

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LLawyer

So you're an expert on sex crimes, is that correct?

Cassidy

Well, we all have something to learn.

LLawyer

I'm sure. Can you tell us the technical or "psycho-sexual" term if you will, for fondling a stranger?

Cassidy

[hesitantly] Fromage...?

[Scattered laughter in the court.]

LLawyer

I believe it's "frottage."

Cassidy

Right. "Frottage."

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Cassidy

Did you know necrophilia is not only with dead people?

Benson

[to Munch] Do you see what you started?

Cassidy

No, I got it off the Net. Supposedly some famous actor out in Hollywood, hires hookers to lie in an ice bath. Waits until they turn blue with the cold before diving in.

Let's move on. "Compulsive onanism."

Cassidy

"Onanism." [chuckles]

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From the Greek, Cassidy, "Necro-", death, "-philia," love of. You try it.

Cassidy

Necrophilia.

Again.

Cassidy

Necrophilia.

Or "Egyptian Love" according to Henry Miller. Necrophilia.

Cassidy

Necrophilia.

Good man.

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[After reading aloud an excerpt from a travel book written by the victim.]

His wanderlust is one adverb short of Robert James Waller.

"The Bridges of Madison County."

Cassidy

That was incredible.

How about incredibly banal? Short and muscular sentences displaying total absence of original thinking.

Cassidy

I was talking about the movie.

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Unnerving, isn't it? That such a degrading death could overshadow such a remarkable life?

Cassidy

It's like Rockefeller dying on top of his mistress.

It's still my preferred way to go.

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It's true a good Mrs. Robinson's hard to find, but women maturing faster than men? Conspiracy. The government's been covering up the harmful side-effects of RBGH, a hormone that farmers are using to produce more milk.

Cassidy

Like McGwire taking Creatine to bulk up, right?

The farmers don't take the hormones, Cassidy. The cows do.

So is there anything you just...accept?

Yeah. Compliments.

No wonder you're so skeptical.