Barba quotes from Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

Gonorrhea - the gift that keeps giving.

I know what it's like to have to face down your old man. Mine's dead 15 years, and my hand still curls into a fist whenever I think of him.

[to Sonny] Boo-ya, Fordham Law.

Rectal-probe electro-ejaculation? That sounds like a sex crime in and of itself.

Donna Marshall can't deny sex, so she admits consensual. Classic "she said he said", in reverse.

Our legal system is the best that there is, but it's not perfect or pure. It never was.

Hasn't he suffered enough? [pause] I say he has. Jason assaulted Evelyn, Evelyn assaulted him back. That sounds fair to me. Sounds like justice at work. To be just, it has to be fair. I mean, that's what Ms. Rivers asserts. You know, I can't really disagree with that. In purely pound of flesh terms, Mr. Karr certainly gave up a hell of a lot more than he got. Fair? Not a chance. To be totally fair, you should give Jason one of Evelyn's breasts. An arm, maybe. That's only fair. And as we have now decided, that means it's just. Jason Karr forcibly raped Evelyn Bundy when she was little more than a child, but to tack a prison sentence on Mr. Karr's already gargantuan suffering would tip the balance of justice in Ms. Bundy's favor, and hey, there's no way that's fair, so there's no way that's just. A man whose store burns down rushes out, buys some gasoline, a book of matches and sets the house of the arsonist on fire. Hey! It's fair, so that means it's just! A man whose children have been murdered buys a gun and splatters the brains of the killer's children all over their bedroom walls. It's fair. It's just. Why bother with cops or courts? If it's fair, it has to be just! Let the blood flow in the streets, I say! Oh, wait, you don't like it? I say get a bigger pair of boots.

Sometimes on its way to "fair", the law misses "right". You wanna do something? Figure out another way in.

It's a he said she said, only he's a hero and she's a crazy lady who took a plane hostage.

Whoever said crime doesn't pay wasn't a lawyer.

The one thing you decide to leave out is the one thing the defense is going to use to blow up the case. You may not like me when we're done.

I don't like you now.

Honesty. Good.

You told me I wouldn't like you when this was over. You were right. What do I do now? My reputation's...

Thing about America: this country loves a comeback.

I'm not sure why we're here.

You're not? Your client either knowingly provided a weapon that was used in a murder, or he failed to report it. Either way, he's in trouble.

Not if you give him queen for a day.

Sold. We'll throw in a tiara as long he tells us everything.

Benson

I wanna get this guy as much as you do. I'm just wondering, would you challenge a straight marriage like this?

If I thought that the husband was good for a murder? I'd cross-examine the priest.

Benson

You're going to claim that a gay man married to another gay man hates gays?

Watch me.