Alexandra Eames quotes from Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Eames

Elaine said Carlo was old world, but he's ahead of my time.

Capt. Ross

He gets the culture Amanda's part of. Would she leave a guy like that at the altar?

Eames

My husband Joe, he was a cop. He gave me a taser gun once for our anniversary. Sometimes you want to be more than your job.

Capt. Ross

I take it Joe is an ex.

Eames

He died. 8 years ago.

Capt. Ross

Sorry.

Eames

What the hell was that, Bobby? You want to throw it all away? Just-- I know--

Goren

Back off.

Goren

It's hard to get a confession if he's capable of guilt. Maybe we should tell him he has nothing to feel guilty about?

Eames

[coldly] You do that. [She leaves him standing by his desk.]

Goren

He likes mysteries.

Eames

Now he gets to be in one.

Killing is not my thing.

Eames

What is your thing, Mr. Pagolis?

French food, Nordic women, German cars...

Goren

Are we good?

Eames

I hope so.

Eames

I checked her PDA. Found his cell number. When you call it, Diego directs you to a web site because, as he says, "seeing is believing."

Capt. Ross

You're kidding. "Rent this hunk. Diego. By the hour or by the night. Muscular, tanned, relentless--"

Goren

[watching Ross with interest] We can all read, Captain.

Mr. Diego's website is purely in the realm of personal fantasy. No services are exchanged for--

Goren

My partner was in vice for 5 years.

Eames

Chelsea for 2 of those years. You're not my first rent boy, Diego.

But he likes crystal meth, especially booty bumps.

Eames

Booty bumps.

That's when y--

Eames

[hastily] I know what they are.

Did you say his name?

Goren

Diego. We have other photos.

You know, there is a Diego that's a professional massage therapist, but, uh, it's so dark in those rooms that I can't--

Goren

[impatiently] Do you have a massage therapist? Is he your massage therapist?

I ... can't say for sure. I'm, uh, really sorry, detective, that I can't be more helpful, but, uh--

Eames

Actually, it's always helpful when we know someone is lying to us. There seem to be phone calls from your cell to his.

[looking at picture again] Actually, this-- you know what? This is Diego. Yeah. Hah. Funny. Uh, the back pain I get is so crippling that I can't even think. I just lay there and I close my eyes--

Goren

[looking bored] --and wait for that booty bump....

How is he?

Eames

He seems almost ... stricken.

Goren

[pulling books off the shelf] G.K. Chesterton. C.S. Lewis....

Eames

...and Ripped Boys magazine. Which one of these things is not like the others?

My client is not a killer, but he does suffer from painkiller addiction, which has only gotten worse due to the stress of the trial. He is going into rehab.

Eames

So is everyone else.

[through an interpreter] Get me a deaf cop.

Eames

A deaf cop?

Get me a jury of my peers. Get me a deaf judge. Then I'll participate. Until then, there is no justice for me.

Goren

You worry about what she said, that your career is tainted by me?

Eames

I used to.

Goren

And now?

Eames

It's too late.