Capt. Ross quotes from Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Capt. Ross

"Gay rage." Old-school police term. We don't use it and I don't want to hear it from either of you, but back in the day, that's what everyone called it. "The strength of a man with the hysteria of a woman."

Capt. Ross

Apologies.

Capt. Ross

How does a man of Dr. Copeland's stature end up being married to a future guest of Jerry Springer?

Capt. Ross

Detective, what do you want me to do? Have the DA hold him on suspicion of being a large, scary black man?

Capt. Ross

[Giving a toast at a family dinner] I know some of you have two Thanksgiving dinners today, so I want to thank everyone for being here. My children, the mother of my children... [Glances sourly at ex-wife's boyfriend] ...Todd.

Capt. Ross

It's cyber-Rashomon. Reggie says Holden shot Todd, Holden says Reggie did it and Willow doesn't even believe anyone's dead.

Capt. Ross

What are we supposed to do, not investigate because it's against the gangsta's code?

Capt. Ross

[About the suspect] A blackmailing con artist, and possible murderer. A new low, even for a lawyer.

Capt. Ross

[about Manor Hill] It's Lord of the Flies up there.

Capt. Ross

Nicole Wallace. I'm told she's your white whale.

Capt. Ross

How you two making out?

Logan

We're fine. Never had a partner with freckles before.

Capt. Ross

3 years undercover vice, drugs, white collar. No one ever made her.

Logan

I can believe that. She get carded at bars?

Capt. Ross

I'll tell you the same thing I told her. Don't jump to conclusions about your new partner. And hey, if it doesn't work out, I can always get you Barek back.

Capt. Ross

So your partner drew the short stick.

Wheeler

He's scanned over ten hours of that stuff. Something tells me it loses its charm after the s--

Capt. Ross

Wheeler, it never loses its charm.

Logan

He thinks he's in love. Can't say as I blame him.

Capt. Ross

Let me guess. You don't have kids. I have two boys, 14 and 10. If a teacher ever laid a hand on either one of them, I don't care if that teacher's male or female, I'd break 'em in two.

Logan

Sure, as a parent you would, but how about when you were 16?

Capt. Ross

That's half-clever, which is about right for a trophy husband.

Eames

Some trophy. He marries Kelly Sloane and then cheats on her.

Capt. Ross

A man marries a model, he's not looking for a soul mate.

Capt. Ross

Logan, why don't you be his ... old-school buddy.

Logan

Oh yeah, I'm all over this.

Capt. Ross

And Wheeler, play young.

Wheeler

He didn't make an explicit threat we can hold him on.

Logan

You heard him, Wheeler. 'Curtis's death shall be avenged.' You don't call that a threat?

Capt. Ross

Could be, or could be the plot of one of the Mortal Kombat video games he got his name from.