Carolyn Barek quotes from Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Barek

[About the FBI] Those people couldn't stop an asthma attack.

Barek

Boys love their toys.

Barek

[Speaking to a suspect] You know what occurs to me? That nothing gets you hot. You're just one of those guys that burn cold. You know, like you didn't do well with girls so you just gave up on sex. Like this drawing, of Junie? It's like a kid did it. It lacks anatomy. Is that what you're like, Dwayne? [glances at his crotch.] You lack anatomy, Dwayne?

Logan

What?

Barek

Relax. You got the job.

Logan

You know, you might want to get a cell phone. That way people won't think you're talking to yourself.

Barek

Been working alone too long.

Barek

[To wife] Was something else stolen that didn't make the report?

Logan

[To husband] Alright, look, pal, this busted look on your face, I've been there. So either she can tell us, or you can save us a step.

Barek

Cherry tomato? They're from my garden.

Logan

What else you grow?

Barek

Cabbage.

Logan

Polish food. I love pierogis. Are your mother's any good?

Barek

Nah. Wasn't her thing. So what did Mrs. Logan make her boy?

Logan

Rum punch. [He smiles to himself. Barek looks inquiring.] Private joke.

Barek

That's one of the johns that Logan picked out.

[About Logan] He's one of those cops. Always looking for the crook in the room.

Barek

He's got an interesting interview style. Very affable. Cuddly cop. Not what I expected.

Logan

[To witness] And I'll owe you. I'm good for it. Ask anybody. Mike Logan. How about it? [Witness nods.] Now I'm going to pound my fist on the table. Okay?

Barek

Now that's the Logan I expected.

Logan

So just in case I need an interpreter, how many languages do you speak?

Barek

Spanish, Yiddish, Italian, Polish, some Creole, some Russian, some Cantonese from working in Chinatown. You?

Logan

I can say "Stop, police" and "What's your sign?" in fifteen different languages.

Barek

Abusive ex-husbands, boyfriends. It's what she's had to put up with in order to support her habit.

Logan

Lemme get out my violin.

Barek

I was taught in catechism even the worst sinner deserves our compassion.

Logan

Yeah? Yours, maybe. I'll save mine.

Barek

Hi, we're getting engaged. I'm looking for a diamond solitare.

I'm not in the jewelry business.

Barek

Are you sure?

I'm sure.

Logan

What the loop for, so you can find your jeans when you take a leak?

Logan

You fencing rocks for Johnny Feist?

I don't know no Johnny Feist.

Logan

You know, I had a partner -- oh, what a great stick man he was -- here's something he had way too much decency to teach me.

What're you gonna do with that?

Logan

I'm a rage-a-holic cop who took a swing at a city councilman. Everybody thinks that I'm a ticking bomb. Maybe today's the day I blow, I don't know. It's up to you.

You're sick, man. Don't hurt me.

Logan

Hurt you? Hurt you? How much you pay Johnny for those rocks? You profit from the people he kills. You encourage him to kill more. I have absolutely zero compassion for you. You know, Rudy's not the mayor anymore, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun.

Logan

Bartoli was right - it is easy to forget he's a cop.

Barek

Even easier to forget he's a father.

Barek

What kind of mother sends her kid on a trip without a change of pants?

Logan

Besides mine?

Eames

The girls don't remember anything about the place except that it's down a flight of stairs and it has a red bar.

Barek

Oh. Ah ... The Shock and Awe club. It's on Harrison between Greenwich and Hudson. [The other detectives stare at her.] There's this DJ there that I know.