Alexandra Eames quotes from Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Goren

This type of calligraphy, the elongated character, the sharp brush strokes, is in the Imperial style of early Qing dynasty, 18th century. It evolved from the thin gold calligraphy developed by the Emperor Huizong.

Eames

[to Deakins] He got that off his box of Wheaties this morning.

Eames

You look familiar.

My last gig. I was the plump and happy raisin in a snack food commercial. Am I in trouble?

Eames

You tell us. You checked into a hotel under an assumed name, forged papers were delivered to your room, an associate of yours is suspected of murdering a woman.

Goren

You don't look so plump and happy now, George.

Eames

Why do you have these forged documents?

I thought it would be fun to have them.

Eames

Well, we think it would be fun for these guys to take you down to our interrogation room.

Eames

The Chinese should be happy to get that back. It's the only one of its kind.

Goren

Annie Ming Littleton (the murder victim) was one of a kind.

Excuse me, but...

Eames

Don't worry. He does this all the time.

Eames

I can't imagine what he went through, waiting for her to die.

Goren

That must've been the worst hour of his life.

Eames

Hour? He said two days.

Goren

Well, I'm pretty sure I heard him say an hour.

Eames

(understanding) Maybe I need a prescription for my hearing.

Carver

All you have is peas and corn kernels. You're a few lima beans short of succotash, Detectives.

Goren

Uh, Succotash?

Carver

Your evidence is anecdotal. I line up my shoes at night.

Eames

Why am I not surprised?

I was sent by God.

Eames

So were we.

Eames

Murderer, arsonist. Jack of all trades.

Goren

Yeah, and master of none.

Eames

She broke the laws of her faith, so what does she do about it?

Goren

You commit one sin, the next ones come a little easier.

Goren

They use the same psychological coercion as cults.

Eames

So did the guy who sold me my car.

Goren

And that's when you overcame your biggest fear. You changed your way of being.

Yes!

Goren

You killed your dad and transformed your life.

[nods, smiling] Yes, I did.

Eames

And you killed your brother for the same reason.

Goren

The brother who had loved you, who watched over you.

It's wasn't real love. The context wasn't authentic. He watched out for me out of guilt. It's old stuff.

Goren

It's in the past. You killed your dad and you... let it go.

Yes!

Goren

Well, so then you became everything that Grace Note promised you. I mean, like it says here in the brochure, look! You became creator of your own destiny! Wow, look at you! You're a success story!

Goren

I almost forgot, I once busted a stripper who did a thing with a glow stick, do they do that there?

Yeah, they do that.

Eames

[to Goren] I can't believe you touched that thing.

Carver

That's the problem with most men: they want what they can't get and don't want what they have.

Eames

No, the problem with men is they talk too much.

Goren

Botox works by paralyzing the--the nerves around the facial muscles, doesn't it?

Eames

Does it look like I'd know?