Robert Goren quotes from Law &amp; Order: Criminal Intent

Great, another nut in the mix.

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[When Spencer's brother tells the police that Spencer knew where the murder weapon was.]

SSpencer

None of this is true. You said so himself. He's crazy.

Goren

Yeah, he may be crazy. But you're evil.

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DDeakins

Even if he was their chauffer, you see them getting mixed up with Bello's voodoo?

Goren

Oh, we're just observing phenomena. Not explaining it.

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[Goren starts opening a container of cheese that belonged to the victim.]

And I thought that dog was ripe.

Goren

Yeah, it's very, uh-- uh, assertive.

Yeah.

Goren

Sheep's milk. It's, uh, "rochetta."

You can tell that just from the smell?

Goren

Label.

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[The crime scene detective explains the scene, then looks at Goren and Bishop.]

DDetective

You two don't take notes?

Goren

Uh, we haven't worked that out yet.

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$220 at a shot, sometimes $440, sometimes twice a night.

Are these late night withdrawals?

[Bishop nods.]

Cash machines at strip bars charge you a 10% premium. A $200 lap dance will cost you $220.

[Goren grins proudly.]

Goren

You see what you miss not working Vice?

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[As Goren and Bishop walk away from a luncheon table, after Goren causes a scene with a potential suspect.]

So you know, I did not enjoy that.

Goren

No? Eames would have.

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[Goren sits down at the computer and starts scrolling down. Bishop clears her throat.]

Goren

If I'm not scrolling fast enough for you, be my guest.

I'm sorry, I don't--

Goren

No, really, I don't mind. Eames likes to drive, so she drives. You want to scroll, scroll.

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Goren

You sure you don't want to take the car?

No, it's only two blocks over.

Goren

Your feet hurt. I notice, your toes are curling in your shoes.

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Goren

These cuts on the tops of her wrists. Now if she was defending herself-- [puts his hands up, palms outward]

[hard] You mean "defending herself like a girl". What if she was defending herself like a boxer? [puts up her hands, palms inward]

Rodgers

Score one for the new kid.

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[On learning that three 17-year old victims had the same strain of gonorrhea.]

Goren

So they got it from the same girl.

Rodgers

Unless toilet seats and doorknobs are making a comeback.

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CMrs. Connors

I called him at his job. His partner said he was on his way. And then he arrived. It's no mystery.

Goren

Well, the mystery is that, uh, the reception in the recital hall, it cleared up. Because a moment ago, you said it was like a tomb.

CMrs. Connors

My sons'll be home for lunch soon. It would be so nice if you weren't here.

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FDr. Friedman

I don't know anything about her condition.

Goren

Lucky for us, Dr. Friedman, you're a terrible liar.

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Carver

From a Romanian orphanage to an American divorce. I hope New York State will prove a better guardian for these children.

Goren

Well, from your lips to God's ear.

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Goren

Her laptop is missing. Is it in there?

[Going through drawers in the victim's bedroom] Only two things in here with batteries. None of them's a computer.