Sam Marquez quotes from Las Vegas

She touches me, Sam, to the soul and beyond.

Sam Marquez

I'm going to slap you.

We're soulmates, and I'm thinking she's going to be part of our family one day.

Sam Marquez

I'm going to go throw up.

Delinda Deline

Did you know I was a magician's assistance once?

Sam Marquez

Why does that not surprise me?

Delinda Deline

The Amazing Roger. He was super cute. I actually learned a few tricks myself.

Mike Cannon

Really? Like what?

Delinda Deline

Once we were driving home from a show, and I put my hand on his thigh and he turned into a motel.

Monica Mancuso

[Looking at Mary and Sam's revealing tops] I'm sorry, did we open a Hooters?

Sam Marquez

[Motioning to Monica's chest] If we did, you're in trouble.

Delinda Deline

I guess it's just me and you, girl.

Sam Marquez

Oy.

Sam Marquez

Oh, great. Every casino host in town is here.

Delinda Deline

Aw, that's so sweet. They all came to pay their respects. What a nice little club you belong to.

Sam Marquez

They're not here to pay their respects. They're all after J.W.'s black book!

Delinda Deline

That's not very nice.

Sam Marquez

Casino hosts aren't very nice people.

Delinda Deline

But Sam, you're a casino host.

Sam Marquez

Exactly.

Sam Marquez

I smell whales.

Delinda Deline

I smell embalming fluid.

Delinda Deline

Did you hear about Monica?

Sam Marquez

No, what?

Delinda Deline

Flew off the roof last night, landed over at the Wynn. Crashed right into the Manolo Blahnik one day sample sale.

Sam Marquez

You're kidding! That was yesterday?

Delinda Deline

Check them out. [Shows Sam her black sandal pumps] Aren't they delicious?

Sam Marquez

They're fabulous!

Sam Marquez

I hate funerals. Pretending to mourn for someone you despised. Doesn't that bother you guys?

Delinda Deline

Not me. I like pretending.

Mary Connell

Now that we know Monica left it all to charity, I feel like maybe she was just misunderstood.

Sam Marquez

Really? I feel like maybe she was just a bitch.

Mike Cannon

That reverse psychology stuff, that's cheating, Sam.

Sam Marquez

Uh-huh. If you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin', Mike.

Mike Cannon

Damn.

Mary Connell

Is that the infamous Paul Logan I see at BlackJack 22?

Sam Marquez

Yep.

Mary Connell

He seems so --

Sam Marquez

Stupid?

Mary Connell

I was going to say sophisticated.

Sam Marquez

That's not sophisticated, it's British. Don't get confused.

Sam Marquez

You've got to hand it to Monica.

Mary Connell

What?

Sam Marquez

Even death can't keep that bitch from ruining my life.

Sam Marquez

Who's the hottest server you have working right now?

Delinda Deline

I would have to say Steve. He has a nice, tight little ass.

Sam Marquez

Not a guy. A female.

Delinda Deline

Are you thinking about switching teams again?

Sam Marquez

I want someone to listen in and these two and report back to me.

Delinda Deline

Why, what's going on?

Sam Marquez

Anything to do with the Montecito's gaming license or potential lack thereof effects my bottom line.

Delinda Deline

And you don't think they'll mind if some hot girl is just hovering around them?

Sam Marquez

Listen to what you just said.

Delinda Deline

Was it fun being mean?

Sam Marquez

Of course it is. Why do you think I do it all the time?

Sam Marquez

Hey, you know what, Mary? My client over there, he's lost 250 grand.

Delinda Deline

He's really --

Sam Marquez

Sad. Yeah.

Mary Connell

Aw.

Sam Marquez

Yeah, he's sad. Listen, maybe you could just go over there and kind of be yourself.

Delinda Deline

Be super sweet!

Sam Marquez

Yeah, be nice to him.

Mary Connell

Poor guy.

Sam Marquez

Thanks, sweetie.

Delinda Deline

Thanks, Mar. She does come in handy.

Sam Marquez

She does come in handy sometimes.

Mary Connell

That's sweet.

Sam Marquez

Yeah, sweet. He's up on us by over a million dollars. Why are you still such a hopeless romantic? You're weird.

Mary Connell

You're weird! And another thing, Lipworth is spending a lot more than a mil on this wedding. So while your commission might be affected by the fact that he stopped playing, the Montecito will still come out way ahead, which is all I care about!

Sam Marquez

Pretty sassy there sassafrass.

Mary Connell

Is it too much?

Sam Marquez

I like it.

Mary Connell

I'm still working on it.