Let’s sing.
What?
What?
Let’s sing a song to scare away the monstery things.
Well, we might as well. It couldn’t hurt.
Into the Unknown
IAIntro: All
I’ll be there for you
Doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo
V1Verse 1: Tina
Looking in my memory, what did I see?
All the good times you gave to me
Evenings from the park way after dark
Listen to the radio in my car
It’s times like these you see the woods from the trees
You come to my aid when I’m on my knees
Next time when you feel alone
Just pick up the phone
CAChorus: All
Reach out and touch
Whisper my name
I will deliver again and again
Straight from my heart, honest and true
I’ll promise you this, I will be there for you
I’ll be there for you
V2Verse 2: Tina
What I think, I’d be lost without you
Makes me wonder what I did before you
When it mattered, you were there for me
You were my rock, boy
You were my energy
Time flies, but I’ll never forget
The way it was the day we met
Don’t be surprised you know it’s true
I’m gonna be there for you
CAChorus: All
Reach out and touch
Whisper my name
I will deliver again and again
Straight from my heart, honest and true
I’ll promise you this, I will be there for you
I’ll be there for you
BPBridge: Paul
Through the sun, through the rain
I will still feel the same
Be it good, be it bad
I’ll always understand
When you’re down, when you’re blue
I will be there for you
Cause nobody does it better
We’re gonna get there together
BABridge: All
Through the sun and through the rain (I’ll be there for you)
Through the sun and through the rain (I’ll be there for you)
CAChorus: All and Jo
Reach out and touch
Whisper my name (whisper my name)
I will deliver again and again (ooh)
Straight from my heart, honest and true
I’ll promise you this, I will be there for you
I’ll be there for you
(screaming)
I just think we were lost in the woods.
RPRachel and Paul
So did I.
(screaming) I just think we were lost in the woods!
JJJo, Jon and Bradley
So did I.
AAll
We were lost in the woods!
What’s that noise?!
I don’t know.
It’s just nothing.
Nothing doesn’t make a noise like that.
Maybe it’s something then.
Yeah, but what sort of something?
Probably a mouse.
A mouse with big clumpy boots on?
Paul. Paul, go and see what it is.
I’m not going out there.
Jon, can I see what it is?
I’m not going out there!
It’s coming nearer!
It’s getting nearer.
AAll
Whoa!
Thank goodness.
What’s that?
What is it?
MMike
Hey there. Thought I’d come to see how you’re getting on.
AAll
Oh.
Goodness.
Wait a minute.
AAll
What?
Where’s Bradley?
He’s gone.
The monsters have got him. I know it.
Monsters don’t exist.
The monster that doesn’t exist got him.
Oh, no. Poor Bradley.
(calling) Bradley! Bradley!
AAll
Bradley!
Oh, guys! Is that monster gone yet?
He’s here!
Oh. I got some good news for you, guys. I found some petrol.
AAll
Aw.
NNewscaster
Tonight on CBC Newsline, from the infamous Ridgeback Woods which has so far claimed the lives of 15 documentary camera crews. We report an amazing story of Survival. We reveal how the English Pop Group the S Club 7 actually went into those spooky woods and stayed for the entire night without disappearing. We go now to an eyewitness report.
MMike
I warned them not to go in the woods, but they insisted on it! They’re cool. They’re pretty cute too.
NNewscaster
Was it brave? Or was it reckless? Or was it all part? More on this incredible story after these words.
So, Paul, we never did find where your relative lived.
No, no. Well, it wasn’t Ridgeback Woods. It was, um. It was some other woods. Does anyone wanna go there?
AAll
No, Paul!
Clever Camp
I thought if I want to be a counsellor. I just think they’re great at solving up in problems.
No. Just causing them.
Bradley, it’s not that kind of counsellor. It’s just there were for the people who look after the foods at summer camp. It’s like being red coat at Butlins.
Yeah, but without the red coat.
Oh, that’s the shame. But he’s really looking good on me at the moment.
Gotta be worth a phone call.
Yeah, absolutely. Has anyone got a quarter?
(reading) Camp Elysium. Proprietor: Blair Beazley, Ph.D. “Cogito Ergo Sum.”
Blimey, you can say that again, mate.
No, I don’t think I can actually.
What does it mean?
Roughly translated. He who pops first, pops loudest.
I thought I recognized it from somewhere.
I’m sorry, but in what possible is this? A camp?
Where are the tents?
Or the shower blocks?
Or the cow pats? Well, you can’t have a campsite without cow pats. It’d be like having a cheese and pickle sandwich right the pickles.
Or the cheese.
Well, maybe they have a different idea of what camping is here.
I don’t know about you, but when I went away with the 27th flourish of sea scouts, well, we didn’t quite feel the need to bring our own library.
It looks more like a university than a kids camp.
This Beazley about? He does know we are, right? I mean he’s not expecting proper teachers or anything.
No, no, no. Of course not.
You didn’t perchance spin him that old yarn about you being at school of Prince William, did you?
Yeah, like I would.
Don’t worry, Teen. He only uses that line on girls.
Or they guy dog.
I reckon Paul used that line so often. He almost believes it himself.
No, I don’t! Now look. Just go and fetch my case from the car, you nasty little commoner.
Maybe we should think about this for a moment. This place feels really weird.
Rachel, Professor Beazley is offering us 300 a week plus bored.
Didn’t I say “I love weird?”
Where is everybody?
JJennifer
In the hall waiting for the lectures to begin.
Lectures?
JJennifer
Uh-huh. This morning, we’re doing dark matter and wormholes.
Oh, biology. Nice!
JJennifer
No. Astrophysics.
Of course! Astrophysics.
Well, don’t let us keep you. We wouldn’t want you missing the start of your lecture.
JJennifer
Not very likely seeing how we’re the ones giving it.
AAlbert
Welcome to clever camp.
Oh, right. What?
Okay. Soak him.
All right. I admit it. I may have slightly exaggerated the order educational achievement, but I was only saying what we wanted to hear.
Yeah, but Oxford?
All I said is that we’ve been to Oxford which we have.
Only for one night, when we played at my niece Anna’s birthday party.
Did I say that would graduate it?
Yes, but now we have to play a concert of classical music!
Forget soaking. Drowning!
Look, look. I can explain!
Go on then. Explain.
You’re right. I can’t.
Look, we could try and bluff it. You know, improvise.
Improvise? You can’t improvise with classical music. It got rules.
Beazley made the performances part of the deal. No performance, no check.
On the other hand, rules were made to be broken.
Which is proof enough as it proved indeed were needed, that music does not only feed the soul. It could also feed the entire population of China. Maybe that’s why the first tune most of us ever learned to play on the piano is chopsticks. (laughs) So, without further ado, please welcome some new recruits to the staff with a world premiere of a brand-new orchestral entitled…
…the panic symphony in E-flat minor at 250 beats per minute, boys and girls, the S Club awesome!
Well, I’ve never had a day quite like that before.
Nor me. Talk about brainy kids. It’s like spending the hold-down Who Wants to Be a Millionaire without any chance of winning the money.
Yeah, or phone your friend.
Do you know what I reckon the real problem in this place is?
What?
It’s not that the kids are too smart or too brainy. It’s that Beazley in the pairs you send them. They are so keen on getting on so well. They’ve just forgotten to let ‘em be kids.
She’s right.
Jo, I think we’ve got to do. I think we’ve got to help them get in touch with their childish side.
Hmm. How are we gonna do that?
Oh, I don’t know. Get in touch with our childish side.
And here it comes!
What?
IGIntro: Girls
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Love train, waiting for the love train
Love train, waiting for the love train
V1Verse 1: Paul
Been working so hard for so long (ooh)
I think it’s time I should be moving on (ooh)
PCPre-Chorus: Paul, Girls
I’m gonna do the right thing (your baby’s calling you)
I’m gonna do the right thing (show that your love is true)
You know that it’s the best thing (you know just what to do)
I’ve got myself a one way ticket and I’m coming home
CAChorus: All, Girls
Riding on a love train (ooh)
Making my way back to you, baby
Riding on a love train (ooh)
Cruising my way back to my baby’s arms
Riding on a love train (ooh)
Making my way back to you, baby (my way back to you, baby)
Riding on a love train (ooh)
Cruising my way back where my baby’s arms are waiting for me
V2Verse 2: Paul
Don’t stop, keep moving, I don’t want to get off
No, no, no
Till I reach my baby in the tunnel of love
PCPre-Chorus: All, Girls
I’m gonna do the right thing (follow you anywhere)
I know that it’s the right thing (show just how much you care)
Ooh, you make my heart sing (hang on and I’ll be there)
I’ve got myself a one way ticket and I’m coming home
CAChorus: All, Girls
Riding on a love train (ooh)
Making my way back to you, baby
Riding on a love train (ooh)
Cruising my way back where my baby’s arms are waiting for me
BGBridge: Girls
Ooh, ooh-ooh
Love train, waiting for the love train
Love train, waiting for the love train
Love train, waiting for the love train
Love train, waiting for the love train
CAChorus, All, Girls, Paul
Love train
Making my way back to you, baby (my way back to you, baby)
Riding on a love train (love train)
Cruising my way back to my baby’s arms (my way back to you, baby)
Riding on a love train (riding on a love train)
Making my way back to you, baby
Riding on a love train
STOP!
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
Have you all gone stark staring mad? What do you think you’re doing?
Well, we’re just having a laugh.
A laugh, and that’s funny, is it? Taking some of the finest young minds in the country and setting them to work on strategies for throwing flour around the kitchen.
Yeah. What strategies?
Look. Just chill out a bit, mate. I mean what is your problem? They were just having a bit of fun for once. That’s what kids do.
Fun. You call that fun. Throwing paint in each other’s hair. What’s the point in that?
There isn’t one?
And that’s the point.
I think you should all leave now, before you do any more damage.
Damage? Professor Beazley, did you see those kids’ faces? They were happy. They were really happy and why was that? Because for the first time in their entire life, they were, they were having fun. They were being kids. They were being funny, clever, inquisitive, smelly, messy kids. Now, do you understand what we’re trying to say here or do you want it in Latin first?
Come on. Let’s go.
Nice one. You’re almost forgiven. (kissing Paul’s cheek)
Hello Hollywood
Wow, look at that!
Well, there it is, guys. Hollywood. It’s the most famous place in the world.
Tinseltown!
Can’t see much tinsel from here. Looks more like smoke and smoke.
Do you realize that every single person down there wants to be famous?
They all want to be actors, directors, musicians, bands, millions of them, all with the same dream.
Cor! That’s a lot of competition!
Well, you know how the song goes. If you can make it there, you’ll make it anywhere. It’s up to you.
That’s New York, Rach.
Oh. Well, do you think we come to the right town?
Guys. So what are we waiting for? Let’s get down there and show ‘em how it’s done.
So does this look cheap enough?
Well, if it isn’t, we might as well go to the nearest dog zone and rent out a kennel for the night.
Right. Come on, everybody. Let’s try and look cheap.
Sound tricky. Maybe we better, um… send Rachel first.
Someone help me rip Bradley’s head off. (strangles Bradley)
Oi! Come back with my socks, you jughead!
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