So where’s Bradley then?
Um, he got run over by rollerblader.
Is he hurt?
No. He’s just milking it for all his words. You know Brad, our one, we used to call him at college.
Hello Hollywood
So, I was with him for 3 years and it didn’t work out. And then my next boyfriend, it didn’t work out either. Nor did the next one… or the next one.
So what about the next one?
Oh! Um, that didn’t work out either. Oh! But then I met the most fine wonderful man. Oh, I was so happy!
Good!
Yeah. We got married and we had a fantastic life. I knew he was the one for me. Yeah. (Then her smile fades slowly) But it didn’t work out.
What a shame.
Oh, hi, guys! Come on in!
AAll
Hi!
Bradley, come on. We’ve got a gig to go to.
Oh, wicked!
So, let’s get up and let’s get going.
I don’t know if he’s ready to perform yet.
You know what? I think he’s gonna be just fine.
Joni said we could all stay here.
AAll
Really?
Sure! I have an empty apartment upstairs that you can have. And while Bradley is recovering, you don’t have to pay rent.
Fantastic!
That is brilliant.
Oh, are you okay?
Yeah.
Take it easy.
I think I’ll be fine.
Oh, be careful with him. I don’t think he’s fully recovered yet.
Yeah. Yeah. Easy does it, Bradley. Easy does it.
Oh! Um, we’re on at the cafe if you want to come along.
Really? Oh, I would love to! Okay, I’ll see you there.
Yeah, cool!
AAll
Bye! Bye! (They all leave but Bradley bumps into the door) Ooh!
See you.
IRIntro: Rachel
Ooh, oh-oh
Oh yeah
Doo-doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo
V1Verse 1: Rachel
Loving you is not just luck or illusion
It’s in the make-up of our DNA
It’s not by chance, we make the perfect solution
Don’t fight it, baby, you know that it’s just destiny’s way
CAChorus: All
Baby, loving you comes easily to me
It’s what I’m living for, it’s all in the chemistry
Baby, loving you is how it’s meant to be
It's something that is oh so natural to me
Natural
V2Verse 2: Rachel, Jo
We got the answers, but there’s no explanation (no explanation)
We got each other, baby, come what may (come what may)
It’s in the science, it’s genetically proven (genetically proven)
‘Cause when you touch me
The reaction, it just blows me away
CAChorus: All, Rachel
Baby, loving you comes easily to me
It’s what I’m living for, it’s all in the chemistry
Baby, loving you is how it’s meant to be
It’s something that is oh so natural to me
You know, that’s the S Club 7. They’re living in one of my apartments.
CAChorus: All, Rachel
(What I live for, it’s what I live for)
Baby, loving you comes easily to me
(What I live for) It’s what I’m living for, it’s all in the chemistry
(What I live for, it’s what I live for)
Baby, loving you is how it’s meant to be
(What I live for) It’s something that is oh so natural to me
(Oh, woah-oh)
(What I live for, it’s what I live for)
Baby, loving you comes easily to me
(What I live for) It’s what I’m living for, it’s all in the chemistry
(What I live for, it’s what I live for)
Baby, loving you is how it’s meant to be
(What I live for) It’s something that is oh so natural to me
(Oh, woah-oh)
(What I live for, it’s what I live for)
Baby, loving you comes easily to me
(What I live for) It’s what I’m living for, it’s all in the chemistry
(What I live for, it’s what I live for)
Baby, loving you is how it’s meant to be
(What I live for) It’s something that is oh so natural to me
(Oh, woah-oh)
(What I live for, it’s what I live for)
Baby, loving you comes easily to me
Goodnight, everyone.
AAll
Goodnight.
Can someone get me a glass of water?
AAll
No!
Misguided
All right, who starred in Casablanca?
Uh, Cameron Diaz and Johnny Depp.
(clears throats) Humphrey Boger and Ingrid Bergman.
Oh.
Um, how about Batman?
Oh, I know that one! I know that one! Um, Batman and Robin.
Oh, Random Violence! I wanna go and see that.
I don’t want to go and see Random Violence. I hate Tommy De Witt movies.
How can you not like Tommy De Witt? He’s probably sexy.
Oh, come on. He’s not even a good actor.
Bother about that. Someone’s good acting. I can watch Bradley telling us why he ain’t done the washing up. Tommy’s gorgeous.
Oh. He’s just a big talentless haircut with expensive dental work and about half the sex appeal of R2-D2. Now there’s some quality dental work.
How’s your makeup?
Mmm. Pretty good…for an amateur.
Hmm.
I can’t believe you’re getting ready to go out on a date with Tommy De Witt.
Especially when you’ve always said he was a big talking haircut with no talent.
Yes, but that was before he turned up at my apartment wanting to go out with. Mm.
Well, hurry up. I wanna get out there before the guys scare Tommy off.
That’s the one.
Yeah.
So, Tommy, tell me. What was it like jumping from that skyscraper to that helicopter in Random Violence?
TDTommy De Witt
Actually, that was my stunt double.
JPJon, Paul and Bradley
Oh.
How about that fantastic sword fight in, um… slashblade peninsula?
TDTommy De Witt
That was my fencing double.
JPJon, Paul and Bradley
Oh.
What about shooting those love scenes with Neve Campbell?
TDTommy De Witt
That was my body double.
JPJon, Paul and Bradley
Oh.
Tommy.
TDTommy De Witt
Yeah.
Um… Do you actually appear in any of your movies?
Hi. I’m Hannah.
TDTommy De Witt
And I am speechless. You wanna go out?
Yeah. Oh. But before we do, my friends wanna meet ya. This is Tina, Rachel and Jo.
TDTommy De Witt
Hi, Tina.
Hi.
TDTommy De Witt
Hi, Rachel.
Hi.
TDTommy De Witt
Hi, Jo.
Yeah. (falls on the floor)
Aha! All right. Um, time to go.
She’s back out the car.
Jo, give the girl some privacy.
You’re right. Like you’re not interested whether Hannah gets a snug off Tommy De Witt or not.
Of course we’re not.
She’s getting out the car.
He’s getting out.
He’s walking out to the door.
Their heads are getting closer and closer.
Oh. Snuggle her.
Leave impact in 3 seconds.
Two.
One.
Thanks. I had a great night.
TTommy
I know you did, baby.
And Hollywood is also the world capital of romance: Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn, Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes. Jean-Claude Van Damme and himself.
I can’t believe it. Hannah’s falling in love with Tommy De Witt.
It’s not fair. I loved Tommy De Witt when Hannah thought he had all the charm and Charisma of a timber door frame. Now, she’s the one getting all the face friction.
JTJo and Tina
It’s not fair.
We need to get out more.
Still, it could be worse. We could be Paul.
Paul’s nearly ready. He’s very excited.
Ooh, that makes two of us. (referring to Paul) Um, now I will have him home by 11:00, and is there anything that he doesn’t eat?
Hmm… Tin cans.
Washing machines.
And that’s about it.
Hi.
Hi. Well, let’s party.
The News
How do I look?
AAll
Fine.
How’s my breath? (blowing his breath at Hannah)
Fine!
Paul, I don’t know why you’re so nervous. It’s just a date.
No. It’s not just a date. It’s a date with Linda.
Yeah, and you’re so special about Linda.
Well, she’s sophisticated. She’s intelligent and she’s a grown-up.
Ooh. So what’s she doing with you?
Don’t say that. Look, I really want this to work out. I really like her.
AAll
Ooh!
So is this Linda the newsreader then?
Yes.
Excellent. Because I didn’t buy a newspaper this morning and I just wondered if she could run over the main headlines with me.
Don’t you dare. When she comes here, she’s off-duty.
(screeches) Okay, everyone, relax! All right.
I’ll get it.
How’s my breath?
Aw! Paul, would you stop doing that?!
Okay. Here goes.
Hi.
Good evening. I’m Linda Lewis.
So, how was your weekend?
Boating on the lake. Great success. Dinner at an Italian restaurant overpriced. And finally a walk on the beach.
Great. So are you ready?
Yes.
Well, I thought maybe we’d go to this Mexican restaurant.
No. A meal at the seafood restaurant. Tables are booked. Then coming up in the next hour a trip to the cinema.
Ah, that sounds like a much better idea. I don’t know what I was thinking. Come on, let’s go. Yeah.
See ya.
AAll
Bye.
Very good evening to you.
AAll
Mmm.
(to Tina) I thought she was supposed to be off-duty.
Paul, what are you doing?
Oh. Uh, Tina’s chatting to Jon in my room and she won’t shut up. So I thought you wouldn’t mind if I came and crashed here. (Getting onto the bed laying forward)
All right. How’d you get on?
Oh, it was brilliant. She’s so clever and she’s right about everything. She’s amazing.
You don’t think she’s a bit… Well, you know, a little bit weird and a bit horrible to you.
Paul.
Oh, look! Surfing Championships this weekend. Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
HTHannah and Tina
Yeah.
You think you maybe, we could ask if we can perform at the closing party.
Oh, oh! That’s exactly what we were thinking.
Well. Come on. Let’s go and ask them.
Uh. Why don’t you go, Rach?
Yeah. You’re really good at that sort of thing.
Oh. Okay.
HTHannah and Tina
Great!
Ooh!
Hi.
MZMiggy and Ziggy
Hi.
MMiggy
Are you surfers?
No.
Yes! Yes, we are.
Yes, we are.
Dudes.
MMiggy
It’s great! I’m Miggy and that’s Ziggy.
Cool!
I’m Higgy and that’s…Tiggy!
ZZiggy
You don’t look like surfers.
Oh, we are, we are. Um, these clothes. They’re not ours.
MMiggy
Why are you wearing them then?
Because we were surfing and there was this massive wave and it just sucked all our clothes off.
So, uh, yeah, we bought these.
ZZiggy
Wow! That must have been in some wave.
Yeah! It was huge!
(Off-screen) Han, Teen!
Um, we better go.
MMiggy
Okay, well, we’ll be here the same time tomorrow. Maybe see you then.
Come on.
We’ve got the gig!
Oh, nice one! Well done!
So drear!
That’s brilliant news.
Finally, at last! Something is actually happening!
I know! This gig could be really good for us.
So, what song should we sing, guys?
I don’t know. What do you reckon, Jo? Jo!
(waking up) Hmm? What? Who? Sorry, I’m a bit tired. Paul kept me awake all night last night snoring.
He never used to snore.
Yeah, well, he does now.
He does a lot of things he never used to do.
Speaking of which.
Look what the cat dragged in.
Must have been a very nerdy cat.
What happened to you, bro?
Did you mislay your fashion sense?
No. Linda said that I didn’t look nice in my other clothes and I look better like this.
Paul, you don’t have to do anything she tells you.
I don’t.
AAll
You do!
You’re allowed an opinion, you know.
I know, and I’ve got one.
Which is?
Which is Linda’s right. I look much nicer like this.
Fancy changing a whole image just for the sake of a date.
Pathetic.
Oh, crikey, Teen! We better go and change our image for our date tomorrow.
Quick!
Let’s go!
Kids.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's L.A. 7 pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.