Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness · Season 1
Seriously how, I need to forget him (his father, Taotie) too. [Taotie looks at his son]
Wait, if you expected us to know who you are, you must know who we are
I am Taotie, your, uh... Kung Fu master!
[Bowing] Master Taotie.
[To Viper] You, you're uh... Noodle. [To Monkey] You're Doodie. [To Mantis] Little Britches. [To Tigress] Whiskers Kitty-poo. [To Crane] And you're, uh, El Storko. [Laughs]
[Does a fake cough] Loser. [Taotie looks at his son again after hearing this]
They call me a brilliant genius!
Wasn't this supposed to be about us?
Oh, sorry. But then at the peak of... of my... our glory, there arose a terrible menace. A dark lord of evil known as Shifu...'s-An-Idiot. Yeah, Shifu's-An-Idiot and his nefarious confederate, Po...-Chews-With-His-Mouth-Open.
Lame
And although we have defeated them at every turn, Shifu's-An-Idiot and Po keep coming back. By the way, last time we fought those guys, I saved your lives. That's why you should be really nice to me. And then... there was a giant cake with eyes and uh... the end.
I think I remember that cake!
What a beautiful day... to be destroying the Jade Palace!
My eyes aren't big! I have a small skull! My brain barely fits inside it!
You... you must be Fenghuang!
[Sarcastically] Yes. And you must be 300 pounds.
No. 290, tops.
You're good, Panda. But you can't win.
Why not?
Because I cheat.
Po, the Furious Five have protected the Valley of Peace for thousands of years. How old do you think, say, Tigress is?
I don't know. 40? Okay, well, less than a hundred, so... so this was another Furious Five.
Yes.
Okay, but who's that? [points to the female owl, x-ed out]
[sighs] That is Fenghuang. She was the greatest fighter of us all, but she… changed. Over the years, the most powerful of us have all had one thing in common: they've become dark, twisted, villainous. In a word, evil. Po, you are the most powerful.
Wow, Shifu thanks. I mean, coming from you that means a... wait, what?! So that means, I'm gonna turn evil?!
Let's get this baby out in the wind!
Monkey, you don't think I'm going to become dark, twisted, and villainous, do you?
Oh, you heard about Fenghuang?
How do you know?
Well, they say Fenghuang had very special skills that Oogway recognized and refined. [voice-over during a 2D animated flashback she's training in the training hall, under Oogway's supervision] As he trained her, she just got stronger. Until she was the most powerful of the Five, and that's when she started to change. She challenged Oogway to fight, declaring that she would be the master of the Jade Palace. But Oogway had been expecting this. He had built an inescapable owl-shaped cage.
[voice-over] An owl-shaped cage?
[voice-over] But, he would have to defeat her to get her in it. [Oogway and Fenghuang start engaging in a fight and after that, Fenghuang is left injured] She could not defeat Oogway, but she could run. [Fenghuang flies away, leaving the Jade Palace as Oogway and the old Five watch; end of flashback] There's a rumor she's been up in the Northern Mountains, too afraid of Oogway to return.
And now everyone thinks that I'm gonna go bad just like she did!
[To Shifu] I've been wearing these same pants for three days!
He smells evil.
That's not new.
[To the Qidan warriors, referring to Monkey] All right, who threw this?
Up, kitie, kite, kite--
[Crash]
ULGGGhhH kite, kittie...
You cannot defeat me!
I defeated you last time.
Yes, but... I had a head cold!
[To Fenghuang] What's evil like? Is it tingly? Are my eyebrows gonna go all pointy and I'm gonna get some evil laugh that turns into a cough?! [. . .] What if I end up with a hook and a shaved head?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
