TV show quotes
[on phone] That's all I have to do? Duh... set it up?
No, that's not all you have to do! You got to be there when he shows!
[increasingly nervous] Be there when they kill him?
If it bothers you that much, don't watch.
Now you listen good, yo-yo. Because I'm gonna tell you something for every cop that's ever had to live under a threat from a punk like you. You know, maybe sometime when you're an old man, you'll be thinking about getting out. Ah, don't think anything about getting even. I want you to think about me. Because, if by some remote possibility you get out, there's gonna be a little 150-year old man waiting for you. And that little old man will be me.
Now look, two things I want you to remember, kiddo. Number one: you're marrying my favorite niece.
Right.
And number two: my favorite niece's favorite uncle is a cop.
Hey, I won't forget that, sir.
Yeah, 'sir'. You can cool the 'sir', because next week at this time, you'll be crying uncle. Get used to it, 'cause that's what you'll be calling me.
[to Gloria] You stop talking to me like a john or I'll take my lollipop away.
[shouting at Ibbotson] We'll have you back inside so fast, your underwear will have to take the next train!
[on phone] Theo? This is Sophie. Yeah, the nerve-wracked mother.
Yeah Sophie, what is it?
What it is, is a rehearsal in an hour. You coming?
This afternoon? Hey look, if they can pretend they're getting married, can't they pretend I'm there?
Theo, tell me something. in that little black book of yours, am I in ink or in pencil?
God, I got you written in ink and underlined in blood.
[kisses her hand]
And as for you, sonny, you go back to the Okefenokees and the alligators. You're not ready for the big time. I deal with Janis or I don't deal.
I'd go through the hell and pain of the last 19 years twice a day to nail a crud like Janis!
[after having a wire strapped to his chest] I got no hair left, I've had this tape on and off so many times this year.
[chuckles] When I was a kid on the East Side, we used to go fishing in the East river to see who could catch the ugliest thing. Look at me, I got first prize. I got me a dead East Side gorilla.
One for you and one for me. And one for you and one for me. One for you. One for me. You.
Didn't I see the Marx Brothers do this once?
What? With heroin?
Stones don't just turn into money, Gabe.
Oh no? Watch 'em.
You know Chubby, he's a dynamite talker. He could sell aluminium siding to a steel foundry.
Just to be on the safe side, is there anyone in the building you can trust?
The landlady. Yeah, she'd axe her own husband if Clyde gave her half a smile.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kojak pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
