[on phone] Is that a fact, Officer Berkowitz? Aha. Yeah, well, Officer Berkowitz, by all means, drop it by. No, no, no, no, I wanna sign for this little package myself. And what was that name again, Officer Berkowitz? Aha, got it. And, eh, thank you, Officer Berkowitz. Hm-hm. [hangs up] Who whould a - That was Officer Berkowitz.
S1 E12Last Rites for a Dead Priest
VVince
Hey, let me put it to you, Lieutenant. Do I look like the kind of a man who would keep company with a priest, huh? [snickers]
SASgt. Al Vine
You'll be keeping company with the chaplain up at Sing-Sing for the next 20 or 30 years if you don't open up.
VVince
On an armed robbery rap? [laughs in his face]
[laughing as well] As an accessory to murder, coochy-coo.
S1 E13Death Is Not a Passing Grade
DGDet. Gomez
[a pen with Kojak's name on it is found at a crime scene] Did you drop it?
[sarcastic] Yeah, but I can't remember whether I dropped it before or after I broke into the safe!
DDelta
You are a really patient man, you know. [kisses Kojak on the cheek]
Hey eh, how come you talk so slow with your patient man and you kiss so fast?
DDelta
Oh, I don't always, do I?
[to Delta] And besides, with that lavender nightgown I saw you buy last week, you don't need an education, you need protection.
[about Caz] Okay, so now he's saying: he's smarter than you specifically. My own kid says it to me, flat out, right to my face. They want you to fight back, they seem to want that authority.
If anybody asks you where you took me, you tell them.
CCabbie
Right.
Don't make it easy, have them pay you for it.
S1 E14Die Before They Wake
Well, that arm looks pretty clean to me.
CPCheryl Pope
[sighs] Yeah, but you've always got those little freckles to show that you had to fight with the monkey.
SGSpencer Galen
Of course, I can't keep track of all my investments. In fact, I'd forgotten that I'd agreed to finance a film.
Oh, I see, two martinis, and someone talks you into making these, eh, French postcards that move, huh?
CPCheryl Pope
It's all over, isn't it, Lieutenant?
It's never over. Oh, maybe we slow down the merry-go-round a little bit. But then some creep comes along and starts it all up again.
CPCheryl Pope
Then why bother?
I don't know. Maybe some good kid gets a chance to jump off that slow merry-go-round?
DPDaniel Pope
Scientific breakthrough. I discovered how to get ice-cold tomato juice from a from a very warm tomato.
S1 E15Deliver Us Some Evil
What are you doing?
T.L.C., eh, Tender Loving Care for my new plant.
Oh. Well, could you put a little TLC into a list of every burglary in eh, in the last two years?
[chuckles] You're trying to convince me that the story you're telling is not a beautifully engraved $3 bill.
KSKenny Soames
Hey, what's that squeaking, Wendell, you or the gate?
WWendell
[laughing] It's the gate, you bum. I keep myself better oiled!
FMrs. Farenkrug
[to Kenny] Here you are, the only thing in pants with two lonely women. [laughs]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kojak pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.