Michael quotes from Kitchen Nightmares

That lobster's fresh. Even though it died, it's... good.

Just like last night, he went up to every table and said, "Hello, my name's Ninoooo!"

What is that in there? What is that?

I think it's veal, chef.

You think it's veal?

Pretty sure it's veal.

You didn't put it in there.

No, I didn't.

Darryl, what is that?

It looks like meat thrown in a pan.

What is it though?

I don't know. It's not labeled.

Oh, my God! Fucking-- Hey. Forget the orders for five minutes. (to Carchi) Come around, you. Darryl, come 'round. Don't worry about the cooking for now. I got more fucking issues. When was the last time this was organised?

It hasn't been organized.

Oh, come on. [pulls out a jar from the fridge] What's that?

Molasses.

Molasses?

Yeah, that's been in there since last Thanksgiving.

What?! It's July! What's that? [pulls out an old piece of meat from a container] Oh, my God! [sniffs the old meat] Oh, shit. This is raw pork. It's not my that you served to me, is it?

No, that's the, uh, the old pork that got left in there.

That's the old pork?! When's this one from? Not Thanksgiving again? Stuffed what?!

Mushrooms.

Smell that! [brings the container to Carchi's nose] Smell it! That's fucking older than me! Smell it! Go on! [brings the container to Darryl's nose]

That's your sauce, Darryl.

What in the fuck is this? [Gordon pulls out an old piece of fish] Oh, my God! Is that flounder?

It's definitely old.

"Definitely old"?! It's green! Smell that. [brings the flounder to Diana's nose]

(interview) It was embarrassing. It was mortifying. He comes in something that is easily identifiable, and no one noticed?

(to Michael) Smell it!

(interview) How is that possible?

You are in denial!

No! I'm not!

Bullshitting me and blowing smoke up my ass, telling me you work eight hours a day cleaning, telling me the food is great, people love it. I am shitting myself. The chef--

Well, then you need to wear diapers. (Gordon looks askance at him) You shouldn't be shittin' on yourself.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Or are you just trying to act like a fuckin' idiot to make yourself sound better?

No, I'm not a fuckin' idiot.

Then stop sounding like one.

You sound like a fuckin' idiot yourself.

I sound like an idiot?

You used the word "fuckin", so I brought it back to you. I think that's... kinda gross.

(stepping in) Nino, we need to calm down.

Unbelievable. Now, I know the problem in this restaurant. I'm staring at it.

Yeah. And I'm staring at it as well.

(interview) To be honest, I don't know what's in Nino's head.

Are we done?

(interview) It's almost like he's completely mentally unstable.