David quotes from Kitchen Nightmares

You tell me about the passion with the Maine lobsters. Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?

Same waters, North Atlantic waters.

You're telling me now...a Canadian lobster, half the price of a Maine lobster, is the same taste and flavour? There's a big difference. I can't get Maine lobsters.

That's right, so they get them from Canada.

I'm using Canadian lobsters.

That's right. That's what they do.

But I don't advertise them as "Maine."

You tell me, is it a different animal?

"Maine" is a "Canadian" lobster for you?

Homarus americanus. Same animal, right?

Holy shit...

I'm asking you a question.

What you're trying to dictate to me is that you're selling "Maine" lobster - they're not from Maine.

Well, it comes from the same vendor.

[at a loss] Holy shit! The award-winning Maine lobster roll... is Canadian!

You amaze me.

What?

Because all week long, face-to-face, you fucking pretend to care.

Oh, fuck, Gordon. Come on.

You don't give two fucks about this place.

Really?

You're not passionate about running a restaurant.

Really?

You're just abusing it and using it.

How did I- what, what, what did I do?

I've never met an individual that's so full of shit in all my life.

How have I been lying to you, Gordy? How? Tell me.

Gordy?

Yeah, how? You want to disrespect me, I can disrespect you too. But tell me how I'm lying to you.

I'm not disrespecting you. I'm telling you the truth.

No, you're disrespecting me because you don't know the truth.

You're just massaging your fucking ego.

Gordon, bullshit.

What do you mean, bullshit?

Not true.

From the first minute you walked in this fucking door, standing there with your big long coat and your fucking sunglasses looking like proud cock, that was it. First impressions. Then you start debating lobsters because you think you're some smart-arse on the back of few fucking shit dive books. [flashback] Are you aware that the lobsters in your fridge are Canadian?

[flashback] Homarus americanus. Same animal, right?

"Humanus americanus", my arse-us.

Hmm.

With 21 restaurants under my belt, I work my fucking arse off.

So what? So what?

And I never take anything for granted.

[sarcastically] Fascinating, Gordon.

You treat the staff like shit. You amaze me.

Never. Never did that.

Excuse me?

Never. [flashback] Cat, it's policy here for you not to have a drink here after your shift, but you often do. [normal] Never.

You can't even be honest with yourself, let alone me. Mate, you've been exposed.

Exposed?

You're a hypocrite.

Is that right?

Absolutely. For you, it's about a fucking TV show. This man [points to Greg], it's about a restaurant. Fuck the TV, David. And, I mean fuck it. This is real for me. And for you, it's an image.

I disagree with you on almost everything you said.

You do?

Yeah, I do.

Why do you disagree?

Because you're wrong. The great Gordon Ramsay is wrong.

You're a sad fuck. My advice would be for him [points to Greg] to get his partners, get your money out—yeah?—and disappear.

Yeah, alright. My advice would be for you to disappear, and the sooner the better.

You don’t get it, do you?

Fuck you, Gordon; of course I get it.

This restaurant has every chance of succeeding... but not while you are in it, because you’re not passionate. You’re soulless.

Say what you like. Let me get out of here.

You’re ungrateful.

I follow the recipes as I am told by the owners and if I try to change the recipes, I am tossed out of here.

What?!

That's not quite true.

It's not true?

Come on, guys, man up.

[mutters] Been drinking again.

Drinking again?

My husband doesn't drink.

I don't know. I don't know. I can't get the truth out of anybody here.

Explain this to me, Gen.

He does have a lot of control in the kitchen.

That's not true, chef.

What about the mushrooms? You changed the whole recipe and you added wine.

You didn't want salt on the mushrooms. Let's tell the truth.

Did you add wine to the mushroom recipe?

That's how you make sautéed mushrooms.

I just asked you a question. Did you add wine?

Yes, ma'am.

You didn't tell anyone that you added wine to the mushrooms.

Honey, you're missing the point. You're focusing on a mushroom.

Mushrooms are important to me. I'm from Poland.

I think a lot of the problem is, instead of putting sugar in that coffee, put a little Prozac in it.

David, I just want the truth.

This is the truth: I would be better off as a brain surgeon than you running this restaurant.

That Gen is a liar, dude. She can't tell the truth.

She's crazy.

The whole place should be on fuck LSD, man.

[giving David his final paycheck] And for the record, I'm not on Prozac dear.

And for the record, YOU SHOULD BE!!