Abby quotes from Kitchen Nightmares

Abby, what you’re employing is a ship with no captain at the helm and a team desperate for guidance. No guidance is no standards; no standards is no consistency. So, who came up with the menu? If this is American comfort food, somebody’s dreaming here.

I did. I did; I take full responsibility for the menu.

You have no cooking background but you put the menu together? Abby, you’ve got to understand how frustrating this is. It’s ridiculous!

I don’t know what to say. Fix it. You fix it! That’s why you’re here.

Oh come on, Abby! How can I fix it when you stand there in front of your team rating YOU and your restaurant and your food 10 out of 10? Dreamer!

I don’t... I don’t think it’s as bad as you say it’s...

Stop being in denial!

Can you be more specific about the meat loaf? What did you not like about the meat loaf?

(in disbelief) Oh, SHIT!

Can you say something besides...

You’re loopy!

I’ve been called worse than that.

Wake up and admit it’s shit!

Bring it on.

Oh, come on.

Bring it on.

What do you mean, “bring it on”?

So what do I do? Like, just get out of the restaurant business? Then, obviously, my thirty years in business is, like, worthless and I have no idea what the fuck I am doing? Okay! I think I'm going to open that hot dog stand down the beach.

Want some tea or something?

No!

I don't really care what he says.

Well, I mean...

He's completely full of shit! Like, seriously? Our meat loaf is, like, what put us on the map! I mean, it's great!

I don't like the meat loaf.

(flabbergasted) You really don't?

I honestly don't.

We had it the other night together.

What? What-what didn't you like about it?

I think our food is mediocre, if it's not...

Mini-Me, seriously!? You're telling me now you don't like it!?

We eat it because we're here. This is not my restaurant of choice. I will not dine here in my off time.

You're saying, for what we serve -- comfort food, meat loaf, pastas, steak, whatever -- you're saying, for those--

It's not up to par even for that.

So now you're all telling me that you don't like the menu?

(testimonial) I feel stabbed in the back, I guess. (back at the staff meeting) You're just hitting me with this, now?

You know what we're up against if we even opened our mouths about the menu once? Every time we open our mouths, "Fuck off!" "Fuck you!" "You don't know anything!" We're all at a point now where we're just like, "If this is what she wants, let's just serve it out! We'll take it out of the window and bring it to the table!"

We were trying to make the best out of it.

What are we going to have an opinion about now?

Oh, you're so full of shit! (walks out of the meeting)

(tries to bring Abby back) No, no, no, no.

You're so full of fuck! No!

Talk to us! (testimonial) Without a doubt, she's in denial.

You haven't got a head chef?

Jimmy is my head chef.

So we have a head chef. Before, you weren't ready to confirm he was a head chef. All of a sudden, we discover this mess down here. Now, he's appointed.

Rico, why don't we just sell the place and just get out of the business?

Why don't we what?!

I was talking to Rico. It has nothing to do with you.

Has nothing to do with me?

No.

Excuse me? What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying--

You're being a fucking asshole! This wasn't like this. I don't run a kitchen like this!

Hold - hold on a minute! You're calling me a fucking asshole?!

I am!

You stuck-up precious little bitch! Let me tell you something!

Oh, boy. Here we go.

Listen to me!

I'm not going to listen to you.

You're in denial!

I'm not in denial!

Yes, you are! Yes, you are! You can't even accept it!

Fuck you!

And you walk out again!

I am! (Flips off Gordon) Fuck you! (walks upstairs)

There you go. Flip the bird? That's your attitude? (to Rico) And that's your partner? I'm really sorry, but this wasn't like this before I got here? She's deluded, that woman.

You are insane!

Blame me all you want! Easy excuse, isn't it? You're insane!

I'm insane? You're insane! You're fucking insane!

You can't even handle the fucking truth!

That refrigerator was not like that before you got here.

You're in denial. Flip out again!

I would NEVER allow that refrigerator to go like that!

And those BONES?! The mouldy lamb bones?!

I don't even talk to my staff like this! Why don't you get the fuck out of my restaurant?!

You want me to go? I will go.

I would love you to go! Get the fuck out of my restaurant, please!

You are SO in denial, you need THERAPY!

You're a disgrace to this industry! Fuck you, get out of my restaurant! Are you still here?

(to the cameraman) Not now, guys, please, Please, please.

Fuck him.