Peter quotes from Kitchen Nightmares

When was the last time you went inside the walk-in fridge?

I had a hot flash last week.

A hot flash?! What does that mean?

I mean, I was like, hot and I walked in here for a second.

Can someone get me Tina, please? I need orange juice.

You want Tina to stop now and get you a glass of orange juice?!

Don't I have anybody that can get me orange juice?

Peter. Look at me. Fuck yourself.

With the doors about to open, Gordon gathers the staff for a quick chat.

Right, tonight is a critical, crucial night.

Are you with us? Or are you...

No, I'm just waiting for him (Peter).

Okay, but we're really busy right now.

Once again, Peter's has a bill collector on its doorstep.

(to bill collector) You are interfering, that's what I'm saying. Now get out of the way. Would you mind...

I'm interfering? You got to wait two minutes. I got to talk.

Get out of the way.

What?

Why don't you get out of the way so we can go on?

You get out of the way. Don't worry about it, I'm talking to him.

Why don't you go -- no, get out of the way.

(points to Peter) I want to talk to you.

I'm saying: Get away.

(to bill collector) Hey, who are you talking to? (begins to take off suit jacket)

I'm talking to you!

(tries to hold Peter back) God almighty! Relax, relax, relax, relax, relax!

(unintelligible, overlapping, drops his jacket)

(unintelligible, overlapping)

Oh, no! Relax, relax, relax, relax!

(unintelligible)

(gets in bill collector's face) Fuck off! Get the fuck out of here! Who the fuck are you?!

(still trying to restrain Peter) Relax! Relax! Dear, oh dear!

Who the fuck are you?! Fucking tough guy?!

(turns away for a second) Christ almighty...

(unintelligible, chases bill collector outside)

(notices what just happened) Oh, shit...

(trying to instigate a fight) Yeah, tough guy! Come on!

(being restrained by Robert and John) You fake little gangster! Come on! You fake little gangster! I'll hurt you, scumbag! YEAH, TOUGH GUY!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!

Stop!

(watching the bill collector walk toward his car) COME ON, YOU FAKE TOUGH GUY!! COME ON, YOU FAKE TOUGH GUY!! COME ON! COME ON, YOU WANT TO FIGHT ME?! COME ON, I'LL PUT YOU IN THE HOSPITAL!! YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!! YEAH, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Come out of the way, come out of the way.

FUCK THIS GUY!!! FUCK THIS GUY!! COME ON, YOU FAKE FUCKING GANGSTER!! YOU FUCKING BLOWJOB!! YOU'RE A FUCKING BLOWJOB!!!

Peter, you're embarrassing me.

Fuck this guy!!

Peter, Peter, relax.

Relax, relax.

Who the fuck is he to come in my fucking place?!?

Relax, relax, relax.

(still raging at the now-departing bill collector) Have my fucking cock, you scumbag! Yeah, tough guy! (gets right next to his car and knocks on the window) Right now! Right now! (bill collector drives away anyway)

(to Peter) You've got the nerves to tell me you clean the walls every fucking Tuesday? Touch — fuck off, will you - TOUCH THE WALL! You dirty pig! (to the others) This is disgusting! I'm closing it down. (to Peter) How many has booked?

About twenty.

Twenty - forget it. Get the place steam-cleaned from fucking head to tail. I don't care, but we're not cooking a fucking cookie out of here!

I've never seen this before! Every fucking fridge is full of fresh stuff and old stuff. Unfortunately, the old stuff's tainting the fresh stuff, so what you think is fresh is no longer fresh. And those poor fuckers out there are eating this.

Can I-?

No, you can't. I'm not going to let you cook any more. Yeah, that's right. You want to continue cooking? You think it's funny, do you? No, Alyse, if anyone can walk past ROTTEN food in a fridge, and continue cooking fresh, you shouldn't be FUCKIN' anywhere near food! And then when I hear, "Oh, I've never seen that before!" THEN OPEN YOUR FUCKIN' EYES!

I just don't believe this. You know, what happened to "check things"?

I don't know what happened.

(fishing out a beer can from a bucket) What the fuck is this!? Do you guys like this shit to drink? Don't leave those in there for so long! (gestures wildly to the fridge) Look! Look in there! That's embarrassing!

But we don't use it.

I can't keep up with everything! I fuckin' baby-sit you like kids! And you still fuck me! I don't need to baby-sit; if I want to baby-sit, I'd go baby-sit my granddaughter! She's more fun than you guys!