A character in Kirby: Right Back at Ya!
N.M.E. Sales Guy
Kirby: Right Back at Ya! · 920 quotes
6th most-quoted character in Kirby: Right Back at Ya!: in 77 of its 920 quotes
Most scenes with: King Dedede (41), Escargoon (30), Tiff (8)
Welcome to Nightmare Enterprises, King Dedede. How may I assist you?
Look, pal, I don't like to complain, but I paid you folks a lot of money for an octopus monster and it turned out to be a little shrimp.
Just give it time, Your Highness, and I guarantee that little shrimp will grow on you.
Alright.
We gotta do somethin'. We gotta get rid of Kirby somehow before he gets settled in here.
Well, King Dedede, if you want my opinion-- [Dedede bonks him on the head with his binoculars]
Who wants your opinion, when I want some monster that's gonna get rid of that little pink pest once and for all? [activates the monitor and the N.M.E. Sales Guy comes on screen]
Welcome back to Nightmare Enterprises online monster site, King Dedede. As you know, we offer a full line of powerful monsters. [shows several mini-monsters dancing]
Yeah, well that octopus you sent me last time was a weaklin'.
Now that we know your opponent is Kirby, all our monsters have new, improved attack powers. [gets beaten up by the mini-monsters] See what I mean?
They look like rejects to me. I need somethin' strong enough to get rid o' that Kirby...for good!
What is this, a paperweight?
No, King. It's a monster. A super-high density monster. We like to call him Blocky.
What am I supposed to do, drop it in the road and wait for Kirby to trip over it?
Just let me give you a little demo.
Just give it time! It'll get the job done.
[sneezes] No way, José! You take it back!
Sorry, Your Majesty. But our contract states that Kracko can't be sent backo! [laughs]
That's a low-down dirty-- [sneezes again]
Freeze!
There's no escape.
Leave Kirby alone!
You two wimps think you can stop me?
At least we can protect the Kirbys.
[Slice n' Splice laughs as he raises the moon rod, ready to strike all four as Fololo and Falala brace themselves, only to stop and look on at them in recognition]
You look familiar. Yes, I remember. You're Fofa! Yes. I'm sure of it. You're Fofa.
Fofa?
Who's that?
Fofa! Fofa! Fofa!
Fofa was your name before I split you in two.
Huh?
[starts flashback and narrates] That was some time ago.
Well, King Sucker's back to get his pocket picked again.
Sell him Fofa. Better yet: chop it and charge him double. [laughs]
Brilliant idea, eNeMeE.
[Slice n' Splice carries Fofa to the Monster Delivery System]
No! Let me go, you creep! I don't wanna be sent to hurt anybody!
All you can do is float in the air, you useless little clown. We're splitting you in two.
In two?! No please, you can't!
[the N.M.E. Sales Guy lets out a short mischievous laugh as Slice n' Splice splits Fofa into Fololo and Falala before they are delivered to King Dedede]
These puny two ain't monsters.
Yeah, two-for-one sales are always a ripoff.
[growls and throws Fololo and Falala down to Sir Ebrum and Lady Like] Y'all look after these here scrawny rejects 'cause I don't want 'em.
Ah, but Your Majesty...
We already have a brand new mouth to feed.
Then ye're lucky these two ain't got no mouths! [laughs]
So that's where we came from...
We used to be one, and now we're two. [flashback ends]
This was the very moon rod used to split you in two.
We're really Fofa.
Fofa. I like that name. [laughs] We finally know where we came from!
Right! We're not just Fololo and Falala.
We're closer than that.
We're really Fofa!
[as King Dedede gets up] I guess that's why we get along so well. Right, Falala?
Right, Fololo!
Hmph.
[as she and Tuff look on] Tuff, look.
I wonder what that sun rod does.
That must be the one that puts them back together.
You two will never be one again.
Yes, we will.
We'll show you!
What's this all about?
Overdue bills. King Dedede owed us big time and this was the only way we could collect. Ta ta! [signs off]
Wow, Escargoon. Looks like your plan cost him a lot of money.
He deserved it! Life ain't a free ride, kid. You gotta pay for everythin'.
[King Dedede enters the throne room chuckling to everyone's surprise]
That's right, Escargoon. And now you gonna pay big time! [runs after Escargoon with his hammer, scaring the others while Kirby happily dodges]
Pillows? What're they for?
Haven't you ever used one? They're for sleeping.
The nightmares these pillows cause are of your number one enemy. They'll be so bad, your subjects will get rid of that little pink pest all by themselves.
Yes. And soon those sleepy-headed simpletons will be doing my work for me.
WARNING: You have entered the Nightmare Enterprises web server and I want to know why.
There's a powerful Star Warrior livin' out there somewhere in Dream Land. And I'm here to destroy him.
In that case, I can be of assistance. And I wish you luck on your journey.
(after WolfWrath has gotten away from him and Dedede) Ah, I don't think it's housebroken.
That WolfWrath monster of yours better not wreck my castle. This ain't no doghouse!
I'm afraid WolfWrath doesn't take too well to training, Triple D. He's kind of a hot dog and if you try to break him, you'll get burned! [laughs]
Huh? It'll attack me?!
[the N.M.E. Sales Guy laughs again]
[about WolfWrath's battle with Meta Knight] Look, it's battling Meta Knight, not Kirby!
Grr... Meta Knight oughtta mind his own fleaswax and let WolfWrath turn Kirby into toast!
Don't sweat it, Triple D. That monster can wipe out a whole army of Star Warriors.
[snacking on his latest ten-course meal] What's takin' them guards so long to track my monster?
Finish your snack, sire. I'm checkin' the cameras. [sees WolfWrath blowing fire everywhere it goes, even at the cameras] Ahh! What's it doing?! [sees even more of the castle halls on fire] Ah! WolfWrath's a fire dog!
[gasps in anger and starts yelling at the N.M.E. Sales Guy] What're you tryin' to pull here?! That monster's barbecuin' my whole castle!
Oops! I guess I forgot to mention that. WolfWrath needs to set fires to get the strength for its attacks.
[growling with anger, he's finally had enough and he gives an order to the Waddle Dees] Throw that WolfWrath outta here!
Greetings, Triple D.
I need a top-class chef for my new restaurant.
You owning a restaurant is like a termite owning a lumber yard.
I’ll revolutionize Cappy Town’s coo-zine, then I’ll flambé Kirby in a food-for-all.
That's an appetizing proposition. Sit back while we cook up a cook!
[the Monster Delivery system activates, and Monsieur Goan emerges from the Monster Transmitter]
He looks real continental-like.
N.M.E. Sales Guy: May I introduce... Monsieur Goan!
Voilà! Le tournedos.
Tornado?
Not tornado. Tournedos. That's a fancy foreign language, Sire. [gets bonked by Dedede]
I was joking, ya beanhead!
Take a taste, Your Majesty. See what you think of his cooking.
[Dedede tastes Goan's cooking. He enjoys the taste]
Whoo! Yeah! This guy’s chow is full of pow!
I take it that’s a thumbs up.
Yuuum! [eats more of Goan's tasty food]
I want some! I want some! Just a teensy-weensy taste... [reaches for Goan's food but gets bonked again]
This is yuuum-tastic! [licks the last of the sauce on Goan's dish] This sauce is sauce-alicious! [hands his now-empty plate back to Goan] Monsieur Goan, first we're gonna tickle them Cappies' taste buds. Then we're gonna tackle Kirby!
Oui.
[Kawasaki throws the Gira extract, which bounces off Chef Shiitake, then off the wall... and into Kirby’s mouth, and he swallows it.]
No, Kirby, don’t eat that!
[The sclera in Kirby’s eyes turned purple due to the Gira extract taking effect.]
W-what’s gonna happen?!
I don’t even wanna think about it!
[Kirby walks over and grabs a fork and knife, and does a happy skip in place, but when he sees King Triple-D, he sees him as a nice roast turkey, then he sees Escargoon as a plate of escargot with lemon slices, then Mayor Len and his wife as hot dogs, Lady Like and Sir Ebrum’s heads as soft serve, and the other Cappies as various food items.]
[Kirby runs up and gives chase to his majesty and his right-hand snail.]
[Sir Ebrum and Mayor Len try to intervene.]
Control yourself, Kirby!
[Kirby was still imagining them as food, so then a few more joined the chase.]
[Cut to the king and Escargoon being chased by a food-dazed Kirby in the hallways of Castle Dedede.
Keep away from me!
[Then King Dedede runs in his personal phone booth, leaving Escargoon outside.]
Hey!
[The king proceeds to dial the N.M.E. Sales Guy.]
S.O.S.! I need an emergency download here!
Chill, 3-D. I’ll just charge extra for the express service.
I don’t care, just hurry up!
Groovy.
[in reaction to King Dedede uploading the millions of newspapers that Kirby flooded his entire castle with to Nightmare's Fortress] HEY! What do you think you're doing?!
There's a lot more where that came from. Nobody wants these newspapers anymore, so I gotta put 'em somewhere.
King DededeKenichi Ogata · 331 quotes
EscargoonNaoki Tatsuta · 286 quotes
TTiff254 quotes
TTuff174 quotes
Meta KnightAtsushi Kisaichi · 84 quotes
KirbyMakiko Ohmoto · 75 quotes
Chef KawasakiNobuo Tobita · 61 quotes
CBChief Bookem41 quotes
MLMayor Len Blustergas40 quotes
TokkoriFujiko Takimoto · 36 quotes
Lady LikeYuko Mizutani · 31 quotes
Sir EbrumTakashi Nagasako · 30 quotes
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kirby: Right Back at Ya! pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
