N.M.E. Sales Guy quotes from Kirby: Right Back at Ya!

King Dedede

We got a problem.

Calm down, I can explain everything. This is a demo for our Monster Management service.

King Dedede

Monster Management?

Our new management director suggested that we give you a full hands-on demonstration. I believe you've met. Say hello, Joe.

[turns around smiling while donning his new business suit] That's Knuckle Joe!

Nice to see you again, tubby.

Sir, I must take full responsibility for this disaster. I will clear out my desk.

Forget it! Let those fools think they've beaten us. When they let their guard down, we'll teach them a lethal lesson. [laughs evilly]

[about Phantom Star Gerath] Thousand years away, hmm? I don't know about our little friends, but I, for one, am feeling kind of impatient. What do you say we speed up the process just a little bit?

Nightmare

What a wonderful idea. [laughs evilly]

As far as tourism goes, Sire, here's my opinion. You might as well rename Dream Land "Snoozeville"!

King Dedede

Well, as far as I'm concerned, them tourists can take a hike!

[laughs] I tried to sell you more fighting monsters, but you decided to pinch your pennies. Now you're stuck with the junk, Big D.

King Dedede

I'll never collect nothin' again!

Hey there. What up, Three D?

King Dedede

I'll tell you what's up. I need you to send me your most powerful monster!

Our most powerful monster? Sounds urgent.

King Dedede

You bet it's urgent! I'm about to become the victim of a Cappy-comb!

I think I've got one for you, but I should warn ya. He's a bit of a slippery character.

King Dedede

Whadda ya mean?

You see, he has trouble distinguishing between friend and foe. Poor little fella gets confused sometimes. I'd wanna handle this one with care, Big D!

King Dedede

You send it over and we'll handle it real good!

King Dedede

I've been real patient with you, but I want me a monster that can whup Kirby now!

I understand your disappointment, Big D, but I've been sending you top-of-the-line monsters all along.

King Dedede

Well the bottom line is, them lame-o’s was losers!

Escargoon

That's right! His majesty may be a big fat meathead, but how many half-baked freakazoids are you gonna send me?!

King Dedede

[bops Escargoon] I'll do the complainin' here.

Maybe you've been going about stopping Kirby the wrong way. Have you ever thought about-

King Dedede

I ain't interested in thinkin'! I know everything there is to know about catchin' Kirby already.

I was only going to remind your fly-ness about Kirby's secret weapon.

King Dedede

Say what?

Escargoon

Secret weapon?

[laughs] I'm referring of course to Kirby's shining star; the Warp Star.

King Dedede

The Warp Star?

Escargoon

That's what that Tiff always calls out.

King Dedede

Yeah. The big ol' thing comes flying to rescue Kirby.

[laughs again] See what a little thing he can do... [Dedede pelts his monitor with an egg, surprising him]

King Dedede

Just kill the dip-strip and get to the point.

As I was about to say, Sire, if Kirby didn't have the Warp Star to come to his rescue, Kirby would be easy to get rid of.

King Dedede

Hey, that's it! If we can stop the Warp Star, we can stop Kirby! Hah!

Escargoon

Sire, let’s forget the castle and go for a cappuccino.

King Dedede

Quit your jabber-jawing and drive, ya hear?!

King Dedede

You wreckin’ my castle! What’s going on?

Escargoon

Tell that flying saucer to hit the road!

Don’t get excited, gents, it’s a part of the plan! You finally got something to solve your Kirby problem!

Huh?

Meet “Destrayah!”

King Dedede

Destrayah? What’s that?

Escargoon

Thought you could bamboozle us, huh?!

King Dedede

I ain’t paying one red nickel for that intergalactical trash heap!

[laughs] No worries, big guy! You see Destrayah’s not a monster, per se, so you won’t be charged.

King Dedede

I won’t, huh? Then I say bring it on! [laughs]

Escargoon

I wouldn’t be so quick to laugh, sire, this cruddy castle’s crumbling...

King Dedede

[laughing] The Wimp Star's high-tailin' it home to Kabu.

Home to Kabu? What do you mean?

Escargoon

Kabu's been hidin' the Warp Star. Get with the program, pal!

King Dedede

Them pals thought they was pretty clever.

This isn't good, D. Better cancel that Kirby farewell party. I'm afraid that Warp Star's gonna be back in tip top shape in no time.

[In horror] Huh?

Kabu's sort of a hospital for Warp Stars and wounded Star Warriors... Like a big recovery room.

RECOVERY?!?!?!

King Dedede

[after having watched the Winged Star Rider's defeat and angrily growls] These Air Riders is a bust. Whatcha givin' me?

Hold on there, gents. After all, the show's not over yet, now, is it?

Escargoon

No, but it better have an unhappy ending.

King Dedede

This last one better do the trick or you in trouble here!

You'll see that Shadow Star's the grand finale.

Well, it seems Kirby and his Warp Star aren't invincible after all.

Nightmare

It's only a matter of time before the Warp Star will be ours for the taking. [laughs evilly]

Hey. What up, Triple D?

King Dedede

I need me a monster, and make it quick! I got an alien after me!

Did you say alien?

Escargoon

What're you waitin' for? Tell him how she attacked the castle!

King Dedede

How can I tell 'im while you're flappin' yer lips?

Simmer down, boys. Now, tell me more about this alien.

Escargoon

She's a little girl with a big ol' gun and a whole lot of attitude!

Very interesting. If this space girl is as tough as you say she is, I think I better send the "big guy". [sends Kirisakin to King Dedede and Escargoon as it roars and clashes its two scythes over its head]

King Dedede

Now that's a monster!

Escargoon

I think I'm gonna faint.

Hey, what up, D?

King Dedede

Zip yer layer!

Escargoon

Your chips made his majesty a travesty!

It's not our fault he can't control his appetite! We made those snacks to fatten up Kirby, not you, sire.

King Dedede

Why'd ya have to go and make 'em so delicious?! Nobody can resist those things! THEY'S TOO DANG TASTY!!!!

Yeah, Kirby couldn't resist them either!

King Dedede

Hm?

King Dedede

I turned myself into an ice cube and I still ain't sick. What am I doing wrong!?

Maybe you're too warm-hearted.

This tough cookie fought against Kirby only to become a great hero. What was his name?

Knuckle Joe! [presses button]

Knuckle Joe! [presses button]

Knuckle Joe! [presses button]

Knuckle Joe! [presses button]

Escargoon

Knuckle Joe!

King Dedede

[presses button] DEDEDE!

Escargoon

I had the right answer!

King Dedede

Guess my hands must have slipped or something.