The symbolism isn't lost on me, I have the white goat he has the black goat.
Oh, so now you're a racist?
No, I was talking about cowboys!
S4 E6Who Can Be Tied to a Goat the Longest?
S4 E7Who Can Handle More Torture?
Arachnoid, my friend, oh, how I admire you. The web you weave is hard to see until your enemy is entangled and you're silking threads. Well, Spencer... you are my enemy, you are my prey, and the entangled web I weave will soon embrace you.
Do you know why Jesus stopped playing hockey?
No, why?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
S4 E8First Guy to Stop Singing Loses
Spenny (singing): Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all...
(he walks into his room to find Kenny standing on his bed in his underwear)
ONE, TWO, FUCK YOU!
(Intro consisting of four bars of screaming)
(Verse 1)
Spencer Rice is a fuckin' fuck
Spencer Rice is a fuckin' fuck
Spencer Rice is a fuckin' fuck
Let's kick him in the face!
(Verse 2)
Spencer Rice he can eat my ass
Spencer Rice he can eat my ass
Spencer Rice he can eat my ass
He is my toilet!
(Verse 3, not always shown)
Spencer likes to diddle boys (shown on-screen as "Spencer diddles little boys")
Spencer diddles little boys
Spencer diddles little boys
'Cause I fucked his mom!
(Verse 4)
Spencer is Hitler's son
Spencer is Hitler's son
Spencer is Hitler's son
Kenny is the best!
Kenny's synagogue choir (singing): Shabbat shalom, hey!
Shabbat shalom, hey!
Shabbat, shabbat, shabbat, shabbat shalom!
Note: In the Hebrew language, the phrase "Shabbat shalom" literally means "Have a peaceful sabbath day." The on-screen subtitles, which are not always shown, give a joke translation: "We killed Jesus." This was likely inserted at Kenny's direction.
S4 E10Who Can Commit the Most Crime?
I'm going to commit so many crimes that it's going to make Al Capone look like Mother Teresa.
[crime: aggressive driving] Get out of the goddamn way, you motherfucker! You fucking asshole! I'm going to fucking kill you, motherfucker!
Do you want to catch king criminal? You can't even touch me, coppers! I've been doing a whole bunch of crimes, but now I want to rape a man. Let's do some man rape! Where's Spenny?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Kenny vs. Spenny pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.