Kenny quotes from Kenny vs. Spenny

Kenny

Aside from the stick in my ass, this is actually pretty comfy.

Kenny

The only reason I'm kinda looking forward to it is I hear you actually can go crazy and hallucinate.

Kenny

This is like a dream competition for me. I drink as much coffee as I want and eventually I hallucinate.

Kenny

If it wasn't for spell check I would be legally retarded.

Kenny

Oh god, where's a forklift when you need it?

Kenny

You know what people care about? Stars. Celebrities. They want Oprah without her makeup. Danny DeVito making love to a chimpanzee. That's what they want, and that's I'm going to give you.

Kenny

If he dies from alcohol poisioning, it is a forfeit and I have won.

Kenny

Confucius say, "Person who go to bed with itchy tooshie, wake up with smelly finger".

Kenny

Today we get to see Spencer's penis! Unfortunately you won't be able to see mine because we're not shooting the show in IMAX

Kenny

I'm going to make Spenny turn against his beliefs, turn against his morals, and his righteousness. I am the snake and you are Eve. It's time to bite my apple, man.

Kenny

Hey, making loud noises is mean, Spenny.

Kenny

Spencer, you are a rat in my maze. Believe me, you're not gonna get the cheese.

Kenny

This time I'm making the rules! Cum rules: One, no children. Two, no homeless gentlemen. Three, no corpses animal or human. Four, you cannot masturbate me to make me cum.

Kenny

Oh, one more rule. You can't use your penis as bait, 'cause fish love worms.

Kenny

To me, homeless people are like the birds. You know, they're free, they splash around, they wash themselves in fountains.