Judging Amy · Season 1
Thursday night. Pick a movie. Popcorn and parking on me.
I don't want to go to the movies Thursday.
Rent is in town.
I've seen Rent. I pay rent. I'm sick of rent.
Bookstore?
Amy?
All right! I have a date on Thursday. David's coming over and I'm cooking.
You don't cook.
Just because I don't, doesn't mean I can't.
Means you shouldn't.
I'll take 'Amy's Greatest Fear' for 100. What is....You're nothing without the drama?
You can't possibly know that!
I'm a closet excitement junkie myself.
You think it runs in the family?
Like liberalism and a fear of clowns.
[to Lauren] I'm a girl too!
[about Ned] We're raising a genius!
An adopted genius, nature is a big part of it.
So is nurture.
Excuse me, I didn't mean to interrupt, but Ted, the Marshall, just said that your mother was arrested.
What!?
Yeah! He thought we knew. I guess it happened this morning.
[to Vincent] Jimi Hendrix called and he wants his shirt back.
[Vincent leaves the room]
[Coming back into the room] Well at least my shirt...
It's not a comeback if you have to come back and say it!
If I told you I was Cheryl Tiegs, would you put me through?...Cheryl Tiegs was a sex icon back in...how old are you?
Let's see what we have here [begins breast exam]
[giggles nervously] Sorry.
Do you know that you have a rather large mass in your breast?
Yup.
[while hallucinating about her mother, sings]
Did you ever go a fishing on a sun-shiny day?
Sit on the bank, till the bank gives way.
With your hands in your pockets,
And your pockets in your pants.
Sit on the bank and do a hoochie-coochie dance.
[When Vincent comes in to see how she's doing] Vincent, I already have a pain in my chest, I don't need a larger one in my ass, too.
[When Amy brings her an envelope with her mother's jewelry] This is what a hospital does. It takes a person from you and gives you an envelope in return.
Gillian...I want to look at you, I want to hold your hand, I want to talk, and then I want to christen the kitchen.
Laundry room.
What?
Two words...spin cycle.
You know when I turn my chair, you know when I wear pants. It's starting to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It's creepy.
What's creepy is that you have hair on the back of your neck.
By the time it's in school I'll be away in college!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Judging Amy pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
