How can you eat at a time like this? (Macy looks at him then she looks back at the play and eats the popcorn)
Thanks for filming the play, Frankie. Your mother would be upset if she couldn't watch this when she gets back from your aunt Debbie's.
No problem.(he is watching cartoons rather than filming the play)(cartoon sounds)
Are you watching cartoons? Give me this. (takes the video away from Frankie)
I knew it was him for he had the mark of the criminal on his shoulder!
Then it is up to us to save her before she loses her head.
Tis a great risk, Porthos. Tis a great risk, Porthos. (waiting for Van Dyke to come)
MMan
Van Dyke. (applause) (Van Dyke bumps into Kevin which makes Kevin bumps into Nick)
But Athos, we must trust...him for tonight, I shall ask-- I shall ask...
Mrs. Snark : "Sweet my beloved into my arms and proclaim my love for her."
Sweep up with my arms the love and proclaim for her.
Looks like somebody could use a lucky boot.
Dare I ask if I may have your heart?
Yes yes, my beloved. A thousand times, yes.
Dare I ask...if I may have a kiss?
Dare dare, my beloved. A thousands times dare. (she walks down the tower then she holds hands with Van Dyke)
Stella and Van Dyke are gonna...(she looks at Joe's chair but he left the audience to interrupt Van Dyke from kissing Stella)(Van Dyke and Stella are about to kiss)
No! (he swings on a rope and knocks Van Dyke away while Stella backs away from being hit)
I'm sorry, but he can't kiss you.
Because this is my role. (he picks up the feathered hat) Dare I ask, may I have a kiss, Lady De-Bonna-So-La-Boo?
Yes. I mean... Dare dare, my beloved. A thousands times dare. (Joe kisses her on the cheek) (applause from Nick, Kevin, Mrs. Snark, Macy and the crowd)
Bravo! Bravo! (Van Dyke is waking up with the flower between his teeth and he stands next to Mrs. Snark then spits the flower out) (Van Dyke reaches into his pocket and give a tissue to Mrs. Snark)
(he and Stella switch places) Aramis, my sword! (Nick tosses the sword to Joe and he catches it) Ahh!
(wiping her tears with a tissue) It's better than "Cats."
We'll return at dawn, my love. (he walks over to Kevin and Nick)
NJNick, Joe, and Kevin
(Kevin and Nick take out their swords then the three of them raised their swords together) One for all, and all for one!
And a leather pouch for my turkey leg!
What's up, Macy? How'd the basketball game go? (he puts his turkey leg away)
Did you get struck by lightning?
Good. Then my lucky boot worked.
(sits next to him) Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. (she takes out Kevin's boot from her bag) Boots, charms--they're not good luck. It is talent and hard work that helped me win all my awards and trophies.
Oh, okay. So then you're not gonna want this cheesy little #1 charm on the stairs this morning?
Actually, I don't. (thunder rumbles)
Here's your boot. (she gives the boot back to Kevin)
Here's your charm! (he gives the charm to Macy)
(talks on the phone) She's not my girlfriend! I don't even know Fiona Skye! Yes, and that's for the record. (hangs up the phone then talks on on the phone again) Hello? Now they're calling from "Celebrity Dirt." No, Fiona and I are not involved in any way. Why are all these reporters asking about Fiona Skye. Who is she? (asks Kevin)
She was in that horror film "Screaming till You Die Screaming" or "Crying till you Die Crying." Either way, it was horrible. I remember being there and laughing till I died laughing. Yeah, 'cause I... laughed.
I don't know her! Leave me alone! Oh! I'm sorry, little boy. Don't cry. You have the wrong number. I just made a little boy cry. (he tells Kevin that Joe yelled at the boy on the cellphone)
Hey, nice shot of you and Fiona with your arms around each other. (Nick slides down the pole while holding the cellphone and walks to the kitchen counter to give it to Joe then he sees the photo of him and Fiona hugging)
I don't remember this. Wait a minute. (he has a flashback of him, Kevin and Nick walking into the theater then Fiona Skye walks up to him)
Hold the door, handsome. (she puts her arm around Joe and he takes off his sunglasses)
I don't get it. (Nick takes back his cellphone from Joe) What's the big deal? She put her arm around me for one picture. A million of girls have done that... and every one special. (his teeth dings) (Kevin and Nick look at Joe) Seriously. (breaking the fourth wall)
(enters while holding the magazine and Nick reaches for his phone) (Tom walks to Joe) Hey, looks like somebody's got a new dance partner, a new boo, a new shorty.
The only shorty in my life is Frankie.
It says here you're so crazy about Fiona Skye you gave her a diamond necklace. (reads the magazine)
Well, there's a picture of you giving her a diamond necklace. (holds the magazine)
(exits and picks up Fiona's diamond necklace) Did somebody lose a necklace?
(exits then Joe gives back the necklace) Oh, thanks, gorgeous! You're my hero.
This is ridiculous. It was her necklace. I'm just the gorgeous hero who picked it up.
I wouldn't worry about it, you know another day or two. This'll disappear from all the magazines and all the blogs. (phone chirps) (takes out the phone out of his blazer) And all the vlogs (phone beeps) and all tweets.
(she is keeping an eye out for Fiona and Paolo while Joe hides his face behind his history book and Kevin also his face hides but for no reason) Coast is clear.
(closes the book) I can't do this anymore. I just read a whole page of my history book. She's driving me crazy.
(walks up to Joe) Really? According to this blog, you guys have secret nicknames for each other. You call her "Fifi" and she calls you "Pookins".
I cannot believe they printed that. Now, they're not secret anymore. Now you gotta find--
There are no nicknames. She's making it all up to help her career. I just wish there was a way we could get rid of her.
You know, Joe, if you need help getting rid of this girl, I could always talk to her. (slams locker loudly)
And by talk, you mean rip her hair out.
If by hair, you mean those cheap extensions?
Why can't we just ask Big Man to help?
Yeah, that's a great idea. (Big Man is carrying her away)
No, put me down! Put me down right now!
"How JONAS picks up girls."
Yeah, why does Joe have to be such a media magnet.
Joe I can't help it. It's the curse of the cool.
Wait a minute. That's it. If Fiona thinks being connected to you makes her look cool, then what if you weren’t cool?
Hey, what's up? But I am.
Okay, can we move past this part.
What if Fiona thought you were so uncool that it actually made her look bad to be seen with you.
Yeah yeah yeah, she wouldn't be interested at all.
Joe She'd run for the hills.
Nick Exactly. (Joe, Nick and Stella walk away)
So we know she lives in the hills. (follows Joe, Nick and Stella)
You had to take a look on Fiona's face when she saw me. When I told her that I was going to go out as the real "Joe" in public...
The girl ran for the hills.
We're pretty sure she lives there.
Yay. (excitely claps her hands)
I can promise you that's the last time we're gonna be seeing Fiona Skye.
Hi, pookins! (arrives at school with Paolo)
KJKevin, Joe, Stella and Nick
Oh no.
Paolo posted the pictures he took at your house and the fan sites are on fire!
"Fiona brings out the real Joe." (she hands her phone to Joe and he looks at the picture) (pop ringtone rings) (Joe gives her phone back to her) (clears throat) (Paolo picks up the phone then he puts it on Fiona's ear and she talks on it) Hello. Fiona. No no no! I specifically said my romance with Joe should be kept private. And you can print that! (Paolo gives the phone back to her and they walk away)
Wow. You should be in "Scream Until You Die Screaming." (Joe checks his ear) That would've been good. (Stella looks at him)
It's hopeless. No matter what I say or do, all the magazines are talking about is my "romance" with Fiona.
Not true. They also mention that you're a world-class nerd.
Thanks, Nick. That'll do.
(on the stairs) Then we've gotta get them talking something else. Because the best way to end one rumor...
(walks down the stairs and goes to the table then sits wth Stella, Nick, Kevin and Joe) You don't get to be head of the #1 JONAS fan club, without knowing how to deal with gossip.
Where did we go wrong, professor?
To get Fiona Skye to leave you alone, you tried to make yourself less attractive.
There is absolutely no way you could make yourself less attractive.
What you need to do is make the sites and mags believe that you've found someone more attractive than Fiona. "Joe Dumps Fiona For Mystery Girl."
Yeah, well, you're going to need pictures.
That means we'll need a mystery girl.
We can put Nick in a wig and a dress.
Um, you're probably right. That's more publicity than we're looking for. Um, there's gotta be somebody. (he, Joe, Nick, Macy and Stella are thinking then he, Joe, Nick and Macy have found the mystery girl)
(she is taking pictures of Joe and Stella at the bedroom while Kevin is holding the fan and Nick is holding the lamp) Great, now take her hand. (Joe takes Stella's hand)
What do you want me to do with it? (asks Macy)
(walks to Joe and Stella) Hold it. Now, look at her like you're in love.
Is that your in-love face or did you just eat a bad taco?
(takes more pics) Okay, moving on. (Joe and Stella are wearing winter clothes and they are holding ski equipment) Now you're skiing down a big hill. (Kevin throws snow at Stella) Smile. The wind is your face. All right, now swoosh to a stop. Okay, now a big hug.(Kevin is throwing snow then Joe and Stella begin to hug) A-all right. (Joe and Stella continue to to hug) Well, hug high and his arm. Uh, no-- you're getting a little tangled there. (sighs) (takes one last pic and Kevin is next to her) (Now gaze into each other's eyes. And closer. And closer. And closer. Now kiss her! (tells Joe to kiss Stella)
JSJoe and Stella
I'm done. (they walk away from each other then Macy stops taking pictures)
Okay, I'll admit it would have been kinda cool to be know as the "mystery girl" in Joe's life.
WWoman
Hey, it's the fake blonde! (Kevin and Nick are entering the party) (Big Man holds the door for Stella, Macy and Joe)
Hey, the fake blonde has a name! It's Stella Malone! (tells the woman) You can thank me later. (enters the party)
What's this? (Nick hands him and Kevin the lyrics of the song then Kevin looks at it)
It's the lyrics for the new song we're recording on Saturday. Learn it, (he tosses the lyrics but Joe tries to catch them and Kevin catches them) live it, love it, but mostly learn it.
Recording on a Saturday? When was the last time we did anything normal on a weekend?
Yeah, I just want to go hang out at the mall.
Exactly. Wait, I don't wanna hang out at the mall.
Abby, save some for the fish. (Abby hands him the bag of chips and he reads it) "Captain Salty's Sea Salt'N'Vinegar Thick-Cut Salt Chips. Now With Extra Sea Salt." Oh, Got it.
finished drinking) Ah. Mmm. It's all yours!
I think my hair is stuck.
Let me just help you out. (helping Abby free her hair)
(screams softly) Ow. (her hair is free from the fire alarm) (fire alarm goes off)
Oops. False alarm! Everybody just stay calm!
(walks down the steps while carrying a lunch lady to the hallway after realizing there's a fire drill happening) Fire! Fire! Go!
Save yourselves! (shouting) (he walks down to the hallway while still carrying the lunch lady but Joe and Abby see Kevin walking to the exit while holding the lunch lady) (Joe and Abby try to stop the fire alarm but they are unable to stop it from ringing)
(walks to Joe and Abby) Somebody care to explain what happened?
My hair got stuck-- (tells Mrs. Snart)
SMrs. Snart
I've heard enough! (gives Abby a detention slip)
Detention?! That is so not fair!
You can't give her detention. It was an accident. Besides, if anybody's fault, it's mine.
Oh, please, like I'm going to give a JONAS detention? My niece would kill me. Hey, Joe, can I get a quick photo? (Joe takes a photo with her)
Yeah, sure. (walks to Ms. Snart and she pulls him closer to her then she walks away) (Abby walks towards him and she is annoyed at him) Abby, I'm so sorry.
It must be nice to get away with everything just because you're famous.
We don't get away with everything. Ms. Snart's new here. Everyone else treats us like normal guys, regardless of our hotness, coolness and modesty. (chuckles)
(sighs) (rolls her eyes and starts to walk away from Joe)
(grunts softly) (continues to walk away)
(worried) Macy, you have to help me. (closes Macy's locker) The most horrible thing has happened! (she puts her head on Macy's shoulder)
Your toenails don't match your purse?
Okay, that will never happen. But seriously read this. (gives the progress report to Macy to read)
(sees Stella's progress report) Oh, so, they finally figured out that you've avoided physical education all this time. (she gives Stella's progress report back to her)
Yeah, my guidance counselor finally got internet and realized that "shopper's elbow" isn't a real injury. So I have until the end of the semester to fill the requirement or it's, "hello summer school".
Whoa whoa whoa. How much time do you have to get dressed in between classes?
There's no way I can accomplish this in five minutes.
Stell, I've seen you change your entire look in the elevator between the first and second floor. What gives?
(turns her head at Nick's locker) You know, I'm lousy at sports.
Thank you. Well, I don't want everyone else to know! It's so embrassing.
Okay. Don't worry. I'll help you. Just meet me after school in the gym. The big red building right next to the football field.
That's the school dance building.
Of course you did. (she puts her arm around Stella then they walk away from the lockers)
(he is walking out of the classroom and enters the hallway to talk to Abby but she is ignoring him) Hey, Abby, wait up.
Abby, I need to talk to you. (Abby continues to walk away from Joe but he follows her around) Abby, I know you probably think you've got a really bad deal on detention. But if you please let me just explain, I'm sure you'll understand. (Abby walks to the elevator and she enters it then she pushes the button) Please. Abby. (the elevator doors are going to close) Hey, the doors are closing. Abby, the doors are-- Can you open the doors, please?
Guys, I can't believe Abby's getting detention and I'm not. I don't want her or anybody at the school thinking we're getting special treatment for being famous.
I didn't know you had a thing for Abby.
I don't. I just feel really bad about what happened.
Yeah. And by "feel bad," you mean "have a thing for."
Oh, nice. (gives Nick a five)
(faces Nick and Kevin) You know what I have to do? I have to get detention too. That'll prove to Abby that we don't get special treatment here.
All right, as long as you don't turn this into one of your big old productions.
Kevin, give me a blueprint of the school.
Why would I have one of those?
How about a scale model of the school?
You got it. (Kevin opens his locker to take out the scale model from it but Nick is seen shaking his head then Kevin points to the location of him, Joe and Nick are right now) This is our current position.
All right, I just gotta think of a way that will get me enough trouble to get me into dentention.
I'm on it. (gives the scale model to Nick while he takes his cellphone out of his pocket) (keys beeping) (he dials the number
But won't get me kicked out of school.
Oh. (looks at Joe and Nick) (beeps) (talks on his cellphone) Hi. I'd like to cancel that order I just emailed you about. Yeah, for the 20 goats and the wheelbarrow. It's not gonna work out this time. Nick gives the scale back to Kevin and he holds it) But I still need the ducks for Saturday.
Ooh, this is nice. It's really spacious. Love the hardwood floors. (taps the wood) Thanks again for helping me, Mace. I know this can be a challenge.
Oh, that's what best friends do-- they help each other. Like the time I broke my ankle and you painted my toenails so they'd looked good when the boys signed my cast.
MSMacy and Stella
Aww. (they walk to each other and they hug then they stop hugging)
Okay. So let's find out what you're good at. We're gonna start with something easy. (starts doing a handstand)
Oh! (chuckles) Um...That's something easy? (Macy is still doing a handstand)
Stella, are you trying it?
This is my favorite thing to do. You're gonna be so awesome. (chuckles)
