TV show quotes
How's it going? The guys are trying on the new look I designed for the tour.
Are you serious?
What? I think it looks really good. I mean, haven't you seen opera singers? They have to keep their vocal cords warm, so they wear scarves
You can't even see a square inch of my skin.
Girls can look at your hands. I mean, they covered in skin. "Get Joe gloves."
It's about the tour.
Dad, did they spell my name wrong on the tour jackets again?
You do look more like a Karen than a Kevin.
All right, look, I just got a call from the school. And it seems one of you boys failed your exam.
Sorry, guys.
Dios mio.
All right, you guys passed. Nick, you failed your geometry exam. You can't move to the next grade till you pass geometry. So you're just gonna have to take the class again. Look, I'm sure you're pass it next time, all right?
What about the tour?
Well, that's... I'm afraid we're gonna have to cancel the tour.
I can't believe I failed the test.
I can't believe I passed. (Joe wants to give Kevin a high five but Kevin doesn't want it)
No.
Macy Misa here. I know what you're thinking JONAS heads. Things are looking pretty grim for the guys-- which is what makes my video podcast so good.
We have to cancel the world tour and it's all my fault
Yeah, it is.
Is that all you've got?
Yeah, it is.
Nick, it's okay. Who needs a world tour anyways? You know, London's nice, but it's not sunny. The desert's hot, but there's no rain.
Kevin, those are my lyrics. You trying to comfort me or set up your own music video?
I'm trying to comfort you by setting up my own music video. (snaps fingers) Hope you enjoy it. (ballad playing)
Dad said he was gonna call the school. I'll get an update.
Okay, tour wardrobe is all put away. Everything is back to normal. (walks between Kevin and Joe and touches Joe's knee) Snow angels?
Carpet angels.
I'm hungry. I say pizza, who's in?
I'll call Maria. Hey, Stell, um... you don't really seem that bummed that the tour just got canceled.
Oh, well... Oh, I mean, I can't say I'm not not bummed that I'll get to see you every day over the summer.
Yeah.
What about you, Joe?
I can say that I'm not unhappy that you're not not bummed.
Well, that makes me kind of happy. I mean, you can understand that, right?
I mean, that depends. What are we talking about?
Um, pizza.
You're right, yeah. Let's go get that.
(runs to tell his brothers) Guys, guys, dad just got off the phone with the school. Nick gets to take a makeup test, which means if he gets a certain score, which is-- what is it again?
100.
100, he passes geometry.
That means the tour's back on. Five-second dance party.
No celebration. Kevin!
What? I had two seconds left.
There's no way I can get 100.
Sure it is. It's easy. Just get them all right.
I took on way too many things-- the test. the tour preparations. Thought I could handle it, but... now I have no time to learn what I need to know.
I could tutor you.
Kevin, you got a "D" in geometry.
Yes, and he got an "F." So if we combine our two scores, we get a... "E." We get an "E."
And I'm the one that failed the test.
What are you doing?
(writes on couple papers) I just came up with awesome way for Nick to ace that geometry. Check it out.
Do you really think this will work? It is like the oldest trick in the book.
Mmm, let's test it out, shall we? (opens the book) No, see, the oldest trick in the book is... what's that on your shirt?
Right, you got me. (fells for the trick)
What I came up for Nick is the second-oldest trick in the book. It's right after... the oldest trick in the book is what's that on your shirt?
What? Oh! You got me again. (fells for it a second time) Oh, Joe, your shoe's untied. Watch out.
Kevin, do you really think I'm gonna fall for the third-oldest trick in the book? (thuds)
Told ya.
Wow. For someone who ruined our world tour you think he'd have more trouble sleeping.
I think I know what'll wake him up. (Kevin touches Nick's keyboard)
Don't touch my keyboard. (wakes up after Kevin touched the keyboard)
All right, good. You're awake.
Me and Kevin figured out a way for you to learn this geometry stuff a lot easier. All right, here we go. (Kevin is strumming his guitar)
Yeah.
Guys, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but that's just one law of geometry. There are dozens of those for me to know.
Well, let's a'singing.
This is gonna be better than a Christmas album. (rock music playing)
It's the next day and Nick has taken his retest. Let's check in as they anxiously await the result. (Nick growls when Macy puts the camera close to his face) On second thought, I think it's best to give them their space. (backs away from Kevin, Joe and Nick)
(runs upstairs) Nick, it's your geometry teacher.
(walks to Tom and takes the phone to talk to his teacher on it) Yeah? No. Yeah. No. Yeah. Okay, bye. (hangs up the phone)
Yeah or no?
I got a 99%.
Yes!
No, he needs a perfect score.
But my teacher said I could make up the last point if I calculate the volume of nacho cheese spread consumed by each screaming fan per cubic foot of arena space.
What does that even mean?
That means the tour is back on. You did it.
Yes!
Whoo-hoo! Oh, I'm so relieved. This means I won't have to spend the summer picking through garage sales with your mother. I mean, how many old fire helmets can one woman have? I get it, we live in a firehouse.
Whoo, what drama. The bigger-and-better-than-the-last-tour tour, was on again, off again, and now it's back on again thanks to Nick acing his test. Yay, Nick!
This is been an incredible journey and a very difficult decision. But as you know, I can only take three of you on tour with me. So, Olivia... Lulu... and Grace, you will be coming on tour with me. And to the others, I want you to stay in tune until I come home. (sighs) I will miss you. (he walks away)
Come on, Joe. I want to see what you look like. (Joe walks out of the bathroom) You look-- you look great.
I'm gonna miss you, Stell. (hugs her goodbye)
Aw, don't start. I'm gonna cry. And I can't be responsible for how cute I might look.
You sure, you okay with this?
Yeah, I mean, I just have to get used to the fact that you're a rock star with girl fans. Just don't forget about the girl back home that sews your pants.
Of course I won't. What's her name again? (Stella slaps Joe friendly when he forgots her name then Joe smiles)
You remember Joe's flip and split? Well, he finally went for it and I got it. But there's a little glitch. You'll see it.
Okay, for the first time ever... tried by a lead singer. Rock and roll! (doing a flip and split but failed)
Look out! (Joe grunts)
Are you okay, Macy?
I'm fine. I'm fine. Just something coming out of my nose, and I think it's my tooth.
This is amazing.
L.A., baby.
Gentlemen, let me present to you le crib de la Jonas. Game room.
Music room.
Bathroom.
Occupied. (toilet flushes)
Sorry, big man. This summer in L.A. is gonna be epic.
Play all day, party all night.
Let's get busy. Maybe we'll get busy tomorrow. (Kevin is snoring on a floatie then Joe and Nick flipped it over) (Kevin yelps)
Ha ha. (he and Nick high five each other at the swimming pool)
It's so cool that mom and dad let us come here for the whole summer.
Well, yeah, with an eldest brother this trustworthy, they can actually relax.
So in this scenario you're kind of like our L.A. dad.
And mom.
Well, mom, I'm hungry.
You have two hands. Make yourself a sandwich.
Guys, we're free now. We can eat whatever we want whenever we want.
Yeah, if we had any food.
We can just ask Macy and Stella to stop somewhere on the way home from the airport.
Nice, Joe-- putting your girlfriend to work before she even gets here.
She's not my girlfriend yet. I haven't even seen her since the tour started.
She does know that you want to be her boyfriend, right?
Absolutely. Probably.
Joe, what exactly did you say to her?
I said, "hey, we're gonna be in L.A. The whole summer." And she was like, "oh, cool, I can totally come." And I was like, "huh?" And she was like, "yeah." And I was like, "cool."
That's even vague in Joe language.
Joe, if you want to be with Stella, you have to tell her.
With words.
That makes sense.
Guys, trust me. I've got this covered. When I see her tonight I'm gonna say it loud and clear. Stella Malone, will you be my girlfriend?
Yes!
See? Kev likes it.
No, I found the salt.
What up, fans? Macy here, your online source for all things JONAS. We just landed in sunny California. Check out all the glitz and glamour.
Macy, a little help here.
Sorry, just getting in a quick video blog. So, stella, care to comment on your Will-they-or-won't-they joe-mance?
Camera off.
What?
Okay, first of all, what did I tell you about acting like a crazy JONAS fan person?
To not to.
Thank you. And second, I'm not telling the whole world about me and Joe.
You're not even telling me about you and Joe. Are you guys going to be a couple or what?
I don't know. It has been two months. I barely remember what he looks like. (Macy shows Stella a picture of Joe) Oh, darn it. He's cute.
And by the end of the day he may just be your boyfriend.
I know.
Stella-Bell.
Aunt Lisa.
Wow, you grew up on me.
Thank you. Thanks for picking us up.
Sure.
Where are you parked.
Oh, right here. Pile in. Cute bag.
Mom's not gonna get that, is she?
Rights of freedom, my man.
Nick, neihgbros. What's up, buddy? Whoo! JONAS in the house!
Hello, person.
No strangers in the house!
I'm not a stranger. I live next door. You see, the haters call me Dennis Zimmer, but the players call me D.Z.
He brought muffins.
Let me run them through the lab.
So when's the party, guys?
What party?
He's messing with me, right? Let me break it down to you, okay, guys? In L.A., if you don't throw a party, you don't get invited to the parties, okay? Then the paparazzi forget you. Then the media forget you. Then the fans forget you.
How do you know so much about this?
I watch a lot of "So, Where are they now?" shows.
Actually, I think this sneezy guy might have a point.
D.Z., but gracias.
Look, if that's the way this town works, then I say bring it. We're known for our parties, am I right?
I thought we were known for smelling super good, or is that just me? (Nick and Kevin smell themselves).
Hey, thanks for the tip. We're gonna announce ourselves with authority. I'll take care of the guest list.
I'll take care of the music.
I'll take care of my looks.
Nice, Joe. Way to be a team player.
Dude, I gotta look good for Stella.
Oh, what can I handle?
Refill this.
Okay, so Barnaby is still with us... I think. (Aunt Lisa chuckles) Barnaby. Barnaby. (cat meows, growls)
Now listen, I know I'm your chaperone this summer, but remember, I'm the cool aunt, okay? You can tell me anything.
Stella's gonna date Joe from JONAS.
What? I'm calling your mom.
Aunt Lisa. I thought you were the cool aunt.
Not when it comes to dating rock stars. I made that mistake once. Okay, 12 times.
No, Joe's different. I mean, I've known him since we were little kids. He's funny. And he's sweet and smart.
Yeah, and he's still a rock star. Look, honey, I just-- there's always gonna be another girl, and I just don't want to see you get hurt.(melodic ring tone playing)
That's Joe's ring. Where's my phone?
I don't know.
Where's my phone?
Ow!
I'm sorry. Find it. Find it.
Ow. Ow.
Hey, Stell, hope you landed okay. Anyway, we're throwing a party tonight. Can't wait to see you. Call me. Oh, sorry.
It's fine. I'm fine. Wow, you're Joe from JONAS.
Vanessa Page. Your show rocks. Me and my brothers never miss an episode of "Malibu High."
That means so much, because I love your work.
Seriously?
So seriously. Your last album helped me get through a bad haircut.
Glad I could help.
Let's go shopping.
Yeah.
Okay, I'm in Hollywood. I can do this. (dials) Hey babe, party, JONAS. Be there. It's Nick. Yeah, from JONAS. (dial tone) Babe? She's not coming.
Why don't you let me be the entertainment? I got mad skills. Check this out. (beat boxing) D.Z. On the beats, getting honey on the streets.
Whoa
Oh, you like that? Whoo! Kevin, neighbro, k-dog.
This is the best organic clothing store in L.A. Everything here biodegrades before it goes out of style.
Cool.
I'm messing with you.
I knew that so much. So are you working on anything new this summer?
Well, this is totes hush-hush, but you know the "forever April" books?
Yeah, I love anything with ghosts.
Well, you're looking at one. I'm playing April in the movie.
That's awesome. I'd love to be in one of those.
Do you act?
No, it's just I've always wanted to.
Joe, don't want-- Do. Oh, here. Try this on for your party tonight.
How did you know about that?
Everybody knows. And yes, I'm coming. Go.
Okay. (melodic ringtone playing)
So sorry. Joe is in a cell-free environment. Please try him back. Peace and love.
What's wrong? What did he say?
Um, some girl answered his phone.
Honey, get used to it.
Good afternoon, Stella. You smell nice. Is that a new perfume? No. Stella, what's up? Yeah, I rode a motorcycle here. Formal, casual. Formal, casual. Stella, meet your boyfriend. You're so lame. How do I look?
Fine.
You didn't even look at me.
Joe, I've been looking at you my entire life.
I'm changing.
Listen, Stella likes you for you, not for what you wear. Please don't be so shallow. (phone rings) Yeah. That's good. No, A-list-- that's what we're going for. Thank you. Unbelievable. Could you please take these to the pool? I'm getting good at this. (car horn honks) Hey.
She's here.
She's here.
Gentlemen, say hello to our new best friend.
Oh, I was hoping, but I never expected-- you're talking about the car. Cool.
You bought a car.
Not just any car. This baby is a fully modified, Retrofitted biodiesel cruising machine. And it runs on cooking oil.
Kevin, you were in charge of music. (engine revs)
Sounds like a sweet symphony to me. (Joe sniffs the car)
Smells like a side of french fries.
I've been busting my butt all day trying to get this party together, and your contribution is buying yourself a car?
It's not just for me. It's for all of us. And it even can fit Stella and Macy.
Yeah, if they ever get here.
Can I drive?
No.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jonas pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
