TV show quotes
And with all those side effects swimming around in that monster, there's no telling what that thing will do!
[furious] There's plenty of telling what that thing will do! It will do what all your experiments do - destroy the town! Because you are all INSANE!!!
[in unison] No, we're adventurous. There's a huge difference.
Johnny, here's what I'm thinking...
Please, don't give me a detention! My Dad'll send me to military school! That means uniforms! Atomic wedgies!... Awkward pauses!
I like you, Johnny.
So I'm free to go?
No. But I'm gonna cut you a deal. If you perform 99 good deeds to make up for your 99 bad deeds, I'll forget every one of your detentions and erase them from your permanent record.
Couldn't I just write something on the chalkboard a zillion time like 'I promise not to blabeddy, blah, blah, blah.' Huh? (smiles hopefully, but the principal shakes his head.) 99 good deeds it is!
And no cheating. Remember, I'm the principal. I know everything!
[Johnny tries to help an old lady cross the road. He takes her arm.]
Hello, Ma'am. May I assist you?
Oh, I get it. I'm an old lady. Well, I'm also independent, lonely, but independent. BACK OFF!
Yeah? You forgot CRAZY!
WHAT D'YOU MEAN NONE OF MY GOOD DEEDS COUNT?!!
Solving a problem that you create is NOT a good deed. Returning the wallet was a good deed, but your dog swiped it. And giving someone their I.B. bag back is nice, but your dog shouldn't have taken it in the first place.
Um... how did you know it was my dog?
I know everything. Plus, I have access to the city's traffic surveillance system.
Wow. I look so guilty on camera.
I'm calling Wendell, Tyler, Sissy and Bumper's moms again! You need a best friend, mister!
I have a best friend, ok! A best friend who plays catch with me outside, skateboards with me and eats my table scraps. Dukey.
Dukey is a great dog, son. But... you need to talk to someone other than yourself.
(to Dukey) Say 'hi'. Go on, say it. Say it before they destroy me with friends!
Johnny, dogs don't talk.
[Johnny gives a gesture for Dukey to speak.]
[Standing on his hind legs] I talk. (Mom and Dad gasp) Yeah, I'm like a really great dog. (Laughs, and Mom and Dad faint.)
Eh, they'll be fine in about 2 hours.
Uh, is there anything you like to say, Dukey?
Well, I've been dying to say that if you really want to increase sales you need to establish better relationships with your clients.
That makes sense.
And Dad, your meatloaf is overcooked. Lower the temperature to 415, cook with foil on top for the last ten minutes and it's missing cumin and barbecue sauce.
He's right. By golly, he's right! Let's cook a meatloaf right now, boy!
Dukey, wait! I want more business tips.
Ok, I think this is going well.
[Johnny gathers the friends Mom and Dad tried to get him to play earlier with to help him.]
Why am I helping you? I should be beating you up!
Because I need someone who can scare people. And Bumper, you are amazing at scaring people!
You... you think I'm amazing? (tearfully) Nobody's ever said that to me. (Hugging him) I am so there for you, buddy!
What do we do now, Test?
Well... what do friends do?
Er... I think they play Tag.
Play Tag.
[After Susan and Mary are too scared to ask Gil out on a date.]
You guys are pathetic!
No, totally pathetic!
We know.
You know, the only thing missing is my dad telling me that I have to have them back to normal by dinner or I'm in big trouble and- he's standing right behind me, isn't he?
(Dukey nods nervously and Johnny turns around.)
I'd like to start this conversation with; I didn't do it.
I don't know what "it" is, Johnny, but you better have Susan and Mary home and normal by dinner or you're in big trouble, BIG!
[When explaining to Johnny about the King's Madness.]
People go looney when they get power.
It happened to George III, Henry VIII and Napoleon. And he was short and crazy just like you.
You'll get the power, enjoy it way too much and try and take over Europe. So forget it!
Europe? I'm not gonna take over Europe today.
I knew I was gonna regret this.
And now my chess army... LET'S TAKE OVER EUROPE!
Way to go, my army! We have captured Spain, and their flan!
Freeze, King Johnny! Your reign and this game are over!
I say when the game is over and PAWNS ATTACK!
[When Agents Black and White try and storm the Toy Castle Johnny has taken over.]
Attention, crazy person!
Come out with your royal hands up or massive force will be... used... on... you...
(They notice Susan, Mary and Dukey.)
Oh, for the love of... is that Johnny in there?
Yep.
Why can't you guys be like normal kids and play board games?
That's kind of what we're doing. (Laughs.)
You think you can stop me?! The king with your blasters?!
Actually we're gonna use the turbo soaker. Check and mate!
[Shoots cold water at Johnny. He splutters and shakes his head.]
Who? What? Where? What happened?
You went crazy with the King Madness and took over the Toy Castle.
Did we have fun?
We had a blast!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Johnny Test pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
