Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks · Season 1
[The sheep are chasing after the pie on the fishing line like in a football game.]
Nice recovery by Darla! They don't call her the Wooly Wonder for nothing.
[The aforementioned sheep crashes.]
...Come to think of it, they don't call her the Wooly Wonder.
What a game! What excitement! It's a kaleidoscope of competition! The thrill of victory, the agony of--
[The sheep running with the pie gets its wool pulled off by another. The sheep stops in embarrassment, before the pie is snatched away.]
...a bald sheep with no pie!
[Wiley gets the pie snatched away from him on the fishing line by Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan.]
Now that's fast food.
[The pie has smashed a window on Piggley's house.]
Oh, now you've done it!
Me?!
You shouldn't have pulled so hard!
It was Ferny who put his weight into it!
Oh, but Dannan threw it off balance!
Oh no, I did not!
You did so!
Did not!
Did so!
You were the one in front!
I was barely touching it!
You were stepping on my toes!
You know, we didn't actually see the window break, did we?
Trust me, Piggley. That's a BROKEN window.
If these fine, honest children say that this was done by a fir darrig, then that must have been the case. Why, they would never make up such a story. Everyone knows a fir darrig is a rascal to start with. And if you were to blame him for something he didn't do, well... he could be mean! Even downright spiteful!
I'm gifted enough to perform any kind of story. Mystery? Haha! What's that? I don't know! Romance. Dare I tell you of my love? Dare I let the honeyed words drop slowly from my lips? I dare! Westerns! Howdy, partners. Howdy, ma'am. Reckon I'll head down the trail a piece. Some dude with a rig on his hip is a-takin' to make a heap of trouble, I reckon.
[Padrig is pretending to scold Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan.]
Now, see here, you ruffians! How dare you break a window, then blame a poor innocent fir darrig for your own mischief! For shame! Shame, I say! [Piggley, Ferny, and Dannan beg] A lifetime of peelin' potatoes is too good for the likes of you!
Keep it up, Dad. [he, Ferny, and Dannan go back to begging]
It's cleaning the barn for you, top to bottom, spic and span! And none of ya will see the light of day until the barn is as clean as a whistle!
Please, sir! Anything but that!
It's no use begging for mercy! Me mind's made up!
[Cleaning the barn.]
Oh, this is a powerful big job.
Well, it's a powerful big apology we've got to be giving to the fir darrig.
You know, come to think of it, I never did see that fir darrig.
You're right! We never did! Why, how do we know that there ever was one, and if he was ever truly mad at us?
Oh, Janey Mack! And we gave ourselves all this extra work!
Maybe you're right, lads. But then again... maybe not.
And Cú Chulainn said to himself, "I am all alone against all those who will follow Queen Maeve. I cannot defeat them, but I must not let them win."
I don't want to be a prisoner. Besides, in the story, Queen Maeve was the enemy of Cú Chulainn. You should be taking her prisoner, not me.
[laughs] This is our legend, prisoner! And in our story, all the Irish are on the same side.
You see, Ferny. It's like when martians invade in movies. You're the invader, and we're protecting Ireland.
[sadly] Oh.
And now, baddie, you're our prisoner!
Not anymore, I'm not! [throws down his bucket helmet and runs away] Now I'm an escaped prisoner!
[laughs] That's good, Ferny!
We can't let the prisoner escape, Cú Chulainn!
Go on, Ferny! You're gonna have to run faster than that so we can chase ya!
And capture you again!
I don't want to run faster, and I don't want to be captured again, and I don't want to play anymore!
What fun is it being the enemy all day, just 'cause I'm Spanish? Maybe I'd run all the way back to Spain. That'd show 'em.
[hearing the night sounds] I haven't heard this much noise since Bernie sat on a hedgehog!
[NOTE: The captions mistakenly use Ferny's name instead of Bernie.]
I just don't understand this sheep at all. I've pushed him, I've pulled him, I've whistled at him, I've even yelled at him, and he still won't do what I want him to do, AND I'M THE SHEPHERD!
Okay, the colorful sheep improvement project has not been going that well. In fact, I wouldn't be out of line to say, it stinks. Painting Fluffy made his wool all stiff and weird, so we had to shave Fluffy, who, until his wool grows back, will now be known as Skinny.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
