Wiley in “Fir Not”

I'm gifted enough to perform any kind of story. Mystery? Haha! What's that? I don't know! Romance. Dare I tell you of my love? Dare I let the honeyed words drop slowly from my lips? I dare! Westerns! Howdy, partners. Howdy, ma'am. Reckon I'll head down the trail a piece. Some dude with a rig on his hip is a-takin' to make a heap of trouble, I reckon.