JAG Season 3 quotes

(speaking to Bud while he is eating a doughnut) Doughnut?

Bud

Power-nut.

Excuse me?

Bud

Not you, sir. The doughnut.

Bud

The earliest recorded disappearance of a United States vessel inside the Bermuda Triangle goes way back to March, 1918. The USS Cyclops vanished without a trace.

Same thing's been known to happen to superstitious lieutenants.

He may still be out there somewhere, Mac.

Commander Douglas or your father?

Commander Douglas. You think I'm obsessing about my dad since I found that list, don't you?

No. You were obsessing before you found the list. And you have every right, Harm. Learning the North Vietnamese sent him to Russia only intensified it. I just hope you realize that if we find Commander Douglas, it isn't gonna give you closure with your father.

Only finding my dad will do that.

Well, you're not alone, Harm. In one way or another, we're all searching for something.

What every woman wants. A great career, a good man, and comfortable shoes, lots and lots of them.

Is that where Dalton Lowne comes in?

Are you kidding? His shoes are way too big. I mean, have you see the size of that man's feet?

I just hope you're not gonna do something stupid, Mac.

Why, Harm, are you afraid you're gonna lose me?

I just...hate having to break in new partners, you know?

You know, for a second there, I thought we were gonna have a Hallmark moment.

You know when the Admiral first told me he was partnering me with a Marine major I had these visions of a tattooed, jarhead, challenging me to arm wrestling at lunch hour.

Well, I do have a tattoo, I'm a pretty good arm wrestler, and although I don't like the term, I am technically a jarhead.

[back pedaling fast] I'm afraid that's classified information, Commander.

Bud

Even when they tell you something, they reserve the right to change their mind at any time. It's that woman's prerogative thing. I mean, what's up with that?

I hate that. God, I hate that.

Bud

Yeah, it's like, I asked Major MacKenzie if she was gonna be leaving JAG, you know, because I've seen the way she looks at Dalton Lowne. And she said no. But she could change her mind at the drop of a hat.

She's not going anywhere, Bud.

Bud

You know, I'm sure Lieutenant Pike and Lieutenant Austin told you the exact same thing before they transferred. I mean, let's face it, commander, you've had lousy luck with women. [Realises he's put his foot in his mouth.] Partners. The female JAG officers you've been with... in... the workplace... sir.

Never underestimate the integrity of a Naval aviator.

The only easy day was yesterday.

Do you want this medal, Rivers?

It's just a trinket.

You know, General Patton once said he would sell his soul for the Medal of Honor.

General Patton wasn't a SEAL. We don't do what we do for the ribbons, ma'am. Men die for their buddies. Others die for their country. And some die for no reason at all. But no one, no one I know, ever died for a medal.

Well, I would venture a guess, lieutenant, that you have never been married.

If the Navy wanted me to have a wife, they would have issued me one with my dog tags and my seabag.

You know, I would have... I would have thought you were a cigar man.

I would be if they didn't taste like goat patties.

I like them. Goat patties.

You have a reputation of being quite the pit bull when you want something.

Well, I like to think of myself...

I like pit bulls, commander. What I don't like is a bunch of Washington pencil-necks coming into my backyard and dumping into my sandbox.

Do you know what the admiral has me doing? Freedom of Information Act request, student loan recovery, delinquent car loans. And Admiral Drake's wife wants clearance to hold a bingo game at Bethesda.

A fundraiser?

Yep. Why am I doing this? Do you have any idea why Admiral Chegwidden is so mad at me?

The same reason we all are, Mac.

I may not like it, but I'm happy for you. And, hell, it's not like you're going to Afghanistan. I mean, you're taking a job in Washington, right? We'll probably be fighting each other in court again next week.

I'd like that.

That's because you're a masochist. Hey, don't start crying. If people see the Marines crying, give the Corps a bad name.

Permission to hug the commander?

Sure. Permission granted.

I'm gonna miss you, Harm.

I'm gonna miss you too, Sarah. Your ride's here. Nice car.

Yeah, but it's no Tomcat.

Harriet

Did you ever try to make love to a man wearing armour, Major?

Does football equipment count?

Harriet

That was a rhetorical question, I didn’t mean...

I’m kidding, Harriet.

Do you think Harm is capable of murder?

Under the right circumstances, we're all capable of murder.