Rampaging rhino runs!
No rhino! No ramming!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
But Jackie, I can't take first prize at the talent show if I don't have a talent!
Jade, you have a fine talent. For getting into trouble.
Har. Har.
You bought this from my competition?!
[playing with the Monkey King puppet, and the eyebrow breaks off] Hey, it broke!
Because it is junk! Kai Ching steals my business by selling cheap trinkets!
But Kai Ching said it was one of a kind. [Uncle cuffs him twice] Ow! Ow!
And that is TWO of a kind to teach you that bringing my competitors goods into my shop invites bad Chi! One more thing. Do you see any Monkey Kings in here? No? That is because the Monkey King is known for his love of mischief! [looks at the puppet] And he is creepy looking!
Uncle, please. It is only a puppet, and Jade's talent show is tomorrow.
You will be sorry.
[after the Monkey King transforms Jackie into a puppet and defeats Tohru]
We are dealing with a very sick mind.
Uncle, you have to do something!
I am not Geppetto. I do not bring puppets to life.
[getting an idea] You're a genius!
The Rat Talisman brings motion to the motionless. [places the Rat Talisman on the Jackie Puppet] This oughta get Jackie back on his feet.
[the Talisman activates and Jackie wakes up]
Well, it's a start.
JJackie (Puppet)
What? What is it?
[rushes forward] Nothing! Do not look in mirror!
JJackie (Puppet)
[sees reflection] Bwah!
I told you not to look in mirror! He never listens.
[riding a toy boat]
I'm king of the world!
[brandishes a large axe] How much wood does a woodchuck chuck?
Oh my gosh, look out!
Huh? [turns around; Jade and Jackie's puppet run away; realizes] Can't believe I fell for that old gag.
Jackie, guard the door in case it returns!
"It"?
Hidden inside of an antique? Mr. Lam tried to trick us into taking it!
What is "it"?
A Jiang Shi Vampire!
Told ya.
... Did the little monster put you up to this?
Chinese vampire drain Chi. Life energy from the prey making the vampire stronger, and turning the victims into servants. Without any Chi, Tohru will soon transform into a fiendish minion of darkness! We must perform a Chi transfusion!
Transfusion? You want to put someone else's Chi in Tohru's body?
Tch. Where are you gonna find someone with that much extra- [Uncle grabs her] Whoa!
You have abundant youthful energy. Chi to spare. It is the only way to prevent Tohru from serving the undead!
[after Tohru throws the Vampire through a door]
Thank you, Tohru.
[with Jade's Chi] I just slam-dunked a Chi Sucker! I rule! [begins to dance] Go Tohru! Go Tohru! I'm the bomb!
Hmmm. It appears the Chi transfusion was successful.
[dancing] Go Jade! Go Jade! Lotta Chi Girl! Saving Tohru!
[with Jade's Chi] How are we gonna save Uncle without Uncle???
[with Uncle's Chi] We must do research!
You gotta be kidding me.
[with Jade's Chi; holding an unconscious Uncle] He's starting to go all fang-y.
Uncle is turning into the vampire's minion. Use my Chi for the transfusion. [is cuffed by Jade] Ow!
[with Uncle's Chi] I do not know such spells! Jade has Uncle's CHI, not his brains!
[with Uncle's Chi, after Uncle fully transforms] Aiya! He is a servant to the vampire!
[with Jade's Chi] Duh!
[with Uncle's Chi] We must all reclaim our Chi before sunrise, or it will belong to the Vampire forever!
[with Jade's Chi] You mean I'd be stuck in Jade-mode?
[with Uncle's Chi] You would rather have Uncle's Chi? I cannot stop thinking about digestion!
VVampire Uncle
[in a state of paralysis] My master will drink you dry! Drink you- [mouth covered by Jackie]
How do we take back the Chi?
[with Jade's Chi] Easy. We just hunt down Count Jerkula, and... [kicks and punches in the air]
[with Uncle's Chi] No! Magic must defeat magic! We must collect a toadstool from a graveyard, place it inside the vampire's left sock, and throw the sock into a river!
... You're making this up.
[with Uncle's Chi] You want to stop the Jiang Shi? Yes? THEN DO WHAT JADE TELLS YOU! One more thing. We must hurry. The sunrise is in thirty minutes!
[with Jade's Chi] Come on Jackie! It's vampire butt-kick time!
This is too weird.
VVampire Uncle
[in a state of paralysis] Master, I have fallen, and I cannot get up!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.