Swallow.
[He hands Jackie a round object which he swallows, only to retch in disgust]
That's the antidote?
No. Fermented beetle larva. Is good protein.
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
What? What is it?
Nothing. Don't look in the mirror.
Aah!
I told you not to look in the mirror!
I'm a lizard! I will become a stone lizard!
I have a new antidote. This may sting. [sprays Jackie with antidote, which immediately combusts upon leaving the sprayer, blasting Jackie through the wall]
[checks all talismans in the bag] One is missing!
No way! I cleaned out the vault! [gasp] I forgot the horse one at Uncle's! Um, if you give me the antidote, I really for sure promise to get you the other one. Scout's honor?
FFinn
Tch. Like she's a scout. [Tohru drops the antidote]
No! [vial containing the antidote shatters] Why?!
[sneezes] Because Chan makes me sick!
Jackie...
Don't worry, Jade. Uncle will come through.
...We don't need your stinking antidote!
[after catching the talisman]
The Dark Hand... will... never... have all... twelve! [turns to stone]
Jackie!
A dollar says his hand will snap right off!
FCFinn, Chow
Deal!
My cold is gone! Like magic!
'The noble horse expels all alien forces within'...
The riddle! It doesn't mean aliens within the talisman, it means aliens within the sick person holding the talisman!
The Horse is the healing talisman!
Think it only works on colds?
That ought to keep him. Unless it's the sprout wings and fly talisman.
Hey Jade, is your Uncle Jackie gonna wow the class about... [chuckles] the secret agent business?
You bet, Drew. And the truth is gonna blow your mind.
Oh, you mean the truth about ninjas, magic talismans, that four hundred pound giant named Tofu?
His name is...[Tohru suddenly burts through the wall] ...Tohru. [Ratso and Finn follow Tohru holding a bound and gagged Jackie and Uncle] Jackie! Uncle!
Jade, hand over the talismans.
FFinn
Or we chop down your family tree.
You guys are the ones going down. [kicks Finn] Hyah! Hyah! [punches Ratso, Tohru charges her and is kicked to the floor] Hyah!
I'm sorry I doubted you, Jade!
No homework for the rest of the year! [the kids cheer wildly]
Jade! Jade! Jade!
[Jade wakes up]
If you're through daydreaming, could you tell us the capital of Italy?
Uh...Pizza? Heh, heh.
[Jackie is narrating a boring speech about archaeology to Jade's class]
[To Jade] So much for "Secret Agent" man.
[Jade raises her hand]
Uh, question?
Jackie, tell us about the time you whooped a bunch of Shadowkhan on the roller coaster at Melvin World!
That's a bit off topic, Jade. [Jade groans] Now, once an artifact is unearthed-
Really! He tanned their ninja hides! He's got amazing reflexes! Watch! [Takes an apple from her lunch and throws it at Jackie]
Ow!
Jade has quite an imagination, doesn't she, Mr. Chan?
Heh, heh. Yes, she does. And a good throwing arm too.
[Jade has discovered a Talisman after immediately starting to dig]
Oh, Jackie! [holds up the Talisman]
You've gotta be kidding me.
It's the Monkey Talisman! Must be a Sea Monkey!
SHUncle's Head
Jackie! Jackie! [Jackie wakes up] Jackie, you are shipwrecked.
[dazed] Yes, Uncle. Shipwrecked.
SHUncle's Head
One more thing. Jade has the Monkey Talisman.
Jade's a good girl.
SHUncle's Head
One more thing. Bad men are chasing her. She needs your help. Now! [whacks him in the head]
Jade? Jade? Ja-? [Notices a feeding giraffe] A giraffe? We drifted all the way to Africa?!
Chan! The tali-
-sman? What talisman?
[Tohru holds up the talisman-tracking statue]
The ones the dragons indicate!
Ohh, this talisman! You know, Tohru, you really should consider coming over the good side! Section 13 has a marvelous dental plan, and every Thursday is Donut Day!
[on the phone]
Jumping Jackal? It's me. Fearless Hyena.
Jade-
Shh! Wise old goat roams near!
What?
Ancient rabbit has very long ears!
What are you talking about?
It's Uncle's birthday, where are you?
My flight had a layover in Bavaria. [annoyed] If I never see Bavaria again...
Jackal, this isn't about you!
Don't worry, Jade. My plane will arrive in plenty of time [whispering] for Operation Surprise!
Cool! So, whatca' get him?
Uh...
Jade. Jade! Jade!
Ah! Uncle, you scared me!
And the rock and roll noise is scaring away the customers.
Tch, it's hiphop, duh! Come on, Uncle Coolio, I'll teach you some moves!
[sighing] My hip does not hop...
Sure it does. You just move with the Grand Master Groove!
[Uncle drops a vase, which shatters]
I am like that antique.
Uh... valuable?
Old... and brittle.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.