Bah, humbug!
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
Me, Valmont, mastermind of the Dark Hand, fleeing authorities like a common- [bumps into Daolon Wong, causing him to drop his belongings]
DVDaolon & Valmont
You!
The supplies for my locator spell! You shall suffer for what you have done!
What I have done? You transformed my enforcers into samurai zombies! I've been reduced to performing my own dirty work! [grabs Daolon Wong] Return Finn, Ratso, and Chow to me at once!
Ha! Why would Daolon Wong heed the demands of an insignificant pickpocket?
B- Because I'm bigger than you!
Oh? [blasts Valmont with Dark Chi magic, transforming him into a child] Not anymore.
The whole time I've been in America, I haven't grown one inch. I'll never grow up, Jackie.
Patience, Jade. Enjoy your childhood while it lasts.
Tch. I have a billion years of school left. I can't reach anything in the freezer and I never get invited on your missions. Way enjoyable.
While Uncle and I search for the horse, you two will wait here and stay out of trouble.
Aw...
Now see here, just because I look like a child doesn't mean you can treat me like one!
I am treating you like a criminal. Tohru will treat you like a child.
Now... [pops knuckles] Are you going to be a good little boy?
TDTaxi Driver
Where to, little man?
Kempton Race Course, and if you call me that again, I will have you eliminated.
Gan, Ren, Chui!
[summons the Dark Enforcers]
Dark Finn I'm Finn, he's Ratso, that's Chow. Would it kill you to learn our names?
The horse!
[the Dark Enforcers seize Young Valmont from the horse]
Okay stretchy, get off your high horse.
Unhand me, you buffoons!
Whoa!
It's Big-V!
And he's mini!
Indeed. I attempted to liberate you three, and that rancid prune of a wizard burdened me with this juvenile curse!
Whoa, you tried to rescue us?
Aw.
We didn't know you cared!
Jackie, stop horsing around!
[attacking Giant Jade]
You're going down, Queen Kong!
The bigger they are, the harder they- [Giant Jade immediately defeats them by stepping on them]
They didn't see that coming?! Honestly, why did I ever want them back?!
GJGiant Jade
Just call me Jade-zilla!
We must bring the ox to the sanctuary of the Ben-Shui Temple before the forces of Dark Chi descend upon us.
[suddenly appear] Consider yourselves descended upon, Gramps.
[as they corner all but Jade against a cliff] You know how much we care about you guys, but Daolon Wong been riding us to get rid of you once and for all.
We're sure gonna miss you.
Say "goodbye", Chan.
[the Dark Enforcers are suddenly crushed by a falling boulder that Jade sets free]
Uhhh... Goodbye Chan?
I understand you have been seeking the powers of the Talismans, witch doctor. Allow me to suggest you end your quest for the Ox, as it is a power I intend to obtain! [is immediately immobilized by Daolon Wong]
Then obtain it, dear warrior... for me! [transforms him into a Dark Chi warrior]
[jumping incredibly high] Phoenix flies to moon!
Huh?
[speeding back in a dazzling fireball] Meteor brings mass extinction!
Tornado decimates trailer park!
[holding a very large boulder] Hak Foo! This is where you go poof.
[hurls the boulder at Hak Foo, who doesn't move; the boulder hits him, only to shatter, not even phasing Hak Foo]
I do not poof.
SSUncle's Spirit Head
[in a magic orb] So, you want a piece of Uncle? I will just require my other pieces first.
If you ever want to see your pieces again, surrender the location of the ox power!
SSUncle's Spirit Head
Very well. You may find what you are looking for in a secret case, very close to- [blows raspberry]
DWDaolong Wong
Fool! The Orb of Q'uan Lo will reveal your secrets, exposing those thoughts you hold most dear! [a sandwich appears in the orb] Mung bean sandwich???
SSUncle's Spirit Head
Uncle is hungry.
I shall peel back the layers! [another image appears in the orb of Uncle spanking Daolon Wong while he cries] What is this?
SSUncle's Spirit Head
Your destiny, evil one.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Jackie Chan Adventures pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.